27 Things in 27 Years

I’m not extremely consistent when it comes to many things (partially due to personality but mostly due to being a human being). I think that’s clear in this space, as it’s my SECOND blog post of the whole year. Woops. But, on the upside, that does make it easier for you to track down my “things” post from last year on my birthday. This is the third year in a row that I’m doing a post like this, so I’d say that’s some sort of win for consistency!

I’ve gotten a little wordy this year, so for your sake, I’ll jump right in. Hopefully they won’t get longer as the years progress, because then we might be in trouble. Though this one is longer than in year’s past, know that I could never be completely exhaustive with these. But I think that goes without saying. I’ve also sprinkled in a good bit of my favorite resources from this year (potentially more than ever before), so I hope those will serve you well, too!

27 Things in 27 Years

1. I’ve learned to continue to ask the Lord for wisdom. This year has really been marked by that in a lot of ways. I stepped into learning more about how that truly does come from fear of Him (Prov. 1:7), and I’ve been more convicted that gaining that sort of wisdom is only going to come from spending time with Him and in His Word. A way I’d personally sum up “fear of the Lord” is simply a correct view of the truth that He is God and I am not. I had written down a prayer that God would teach me more of what it means to fear Him rightly, and I do believe He’s done that in new ways.

2. I’ve learned more about being faithful to simply keep in step with the Spirit (Gal. 5:25) and wait on Him. That came up early in the year and has come up more recently as I’ve been convicted that I’ve really lacked in my dependence on the Holy Spirit. A short book called “Three Fold Secret of the Holy Spirit” has been both comforting and convicting in this area. It’s a short read, but can also take some time to process & digest, but I highly recommend it! It’s made me realize that certain things in my life cannot go on as they are. In so many ways, I haven’t been plugged into the Vine that I’m always talking about, and I want to grow in doing that more.

3. The theme of God’s providence came up regularly, and I’ve learned to be more aware of how He is (and always has been) orchestrating the bigger picture. The story of Esther popped up in my life a handful of times during the span of this year, and I don’t see that as coincidence. The book of Esther is a great example of God’s providence because there is no mention of God in the book, and yet His orchestrating is so blatantly clear. (Well-Watered Women has a great study on it!)

4. I’ve learned more about my personal role as a woman in the local church. I’ve explored how the Lord wants me, as a member of the Body, to use her spiritual gifts & play her part. It’s been sweet to see the very beginnings of the fruit from that! Last year was the first year I used Jennie Allen’s Dream Guide to shape dreams & goals for 2019 (& planning to use it again for 2020). One of the specific things I wrote in it last year related to church involvement was specifically related to seeing something happen in the realm of women’s ministry. God has faithfully answered and I look forward to see how things in that realm continue to sprout up in the coming year. (Here’s a podcast that has also been encouraging to me in this area. The episode is part of a series and it’s all fantastic!)

5. I’ve learned, through saying it to many other people and then myself as a result, that there is permission to wrestle and doubt. I just seemed to witness a lot of suffering and questions and doubts in the lives of others. People in various circumstances and demographics. It’s those moments where we have to trust God to show up in some way. I found myself telling people, “you have permission to wrestle.” I think people, even myself, get this thought that we’re not supposed to question, but questioning is faith working itself out. It all has to hinge on the question of whether or not Jesus is who He says He is. I’m thankful for a God who invites us to question and doubt and wrestle with Him. He will embrace us and show His kindness, even as we flail and metaphorically beat on His chest. He can take it.

6. Speaking of doubts, I’ve faced the questions of “what if this is all pointless? But then, almost like a reflex, I’ve been reminded of the words of Peter as my soul is reminded of the truth, “where else can I go?” (John 6:67-69) It all truly does come back to Jesus. Is He trustworthy? Is He kind? Is He really able to do “immeasurably more” (Eph. 3:20)? Is He Lord? If not, fine, whatever. But if He is, then that changes everything.

7. I’ve learned more about my helplessness (fuuuunnnn!). In my own life but also the lives of others. I get the privilege of investing in others’ lives, but I am not their Savior. I intellectually know this, but yet I can subconsciously put this pressure on myself that I have to lead them to some sort of epiphany in their faith or to get to some sort of breakthrough in their pain. That’s not my job. (So many of those sort of statements and many others like them in this post are difficult to type because I’m still having to preach them to myself.) A sermon by David Platt helped me in this area & reminded me that if I can just get them to Jesus, He will show His power to save. I have to force it to be on repeat in my mind on those moments. “Just point them to Jesus. Take them to Jesus.”

8. I’ve learned how to implement new vocabulary into my life, namely, “depression”. Sure, this word was part of my vocabulary as I’ve gotten down into the trenches with others in their own experiences with it, but then I was faced with my own trench when my counselor said the words “moderately severe depression”. There’s freedom in calling something what it is, even when there isn’t a reason for it, like my own critical thoughts often reminded me. Guess what? Jesus meets us there, too.

9. I learned (read: am learning) that a lover will always do more work than a worker. A new friend brought this to my attention. I’ve fallen into the practice of being a worker for God rather than a lover of God. Yes, my relationship with Him and the freedom He has given me is meant to lead to action (James 1:22, 2:14-26), but it can be so easy to gravitate towards the action or the work being the motivation. The work or action is still involved in the life of the lover, but the work better and ends up going further when it’s out of the overflow of a heart that is fixed on the object of the faith — on Jesus. On God Himself. I haven’t gotten this down, but it’s something that He’s currently shifting in my life. I’ve realized my need to know and experience His love & kindness for me as an individual, outside of the things I do, simply as attributes of who He is & that don’t hinge on my obedience or doing everything right. I find that I’m going back to a ground zero of sorts. And that’s okay. He will do the work that He does in order to break down the strongholds in my life.

10. I’ve begun to see just how much of an “all or nothing” person I am. Even as I type that, part of me is saying “Really? You’re just now seeing that?” I consider myself to be really adaptable and go-with-the-flow (last year I even talked about how I’m comfortable in the gray), so I guess I’ve had trouble associating an “extreme” phrase of “all or nothing” with my easy going personality. Au contraire! If I’m gonna do something, I want to do it well and I want do it right. I don’t want to do it or put something out into the world unless it’s my best work. But I’m realizing there’s gotta be some room for.. mediocre? Ugh, I cringe. But maybe it’s not mediocre. Aside from work, another specific way I noticed this was trying to maintain an hour-long high intensity workout four times a week. How much was I doing previously? Zero times a week. Yet I couldn’t believe that my body needed some rest after a couple months of that, plus an already not-very-sustainable schedule. So while I consider myself to be very chill, I’m also realizing some specific ways that I most definitely need to chill. out. (Is this a 9w1 thing?)

11. I’ve learned that I have to trust the Lord & His timing when it comes to.. well, everything.. but specifically areas of healing in my life. I’ve gotten really frustrated with myself when it comes to painful experiences I think I should be over. But that’s how deep pain works — as much as you make up your mind that you’re done, anything can bring back a painful memory & make you sick to your stomach on a whim (thanks, trauma, love yaaaaaa). A good friend encouraged my further dependence on God when she told me to pray, “Lord, You have to be the one to do this. Nothing else will work.” So that’s what I’m doing.

12. In a similar vein, while I’ve experienced new ways to trust the Lord in healing parts of my heart, I’ve also found myself saying, “I hate that this is part of my story.” Yet I’m learning that there are now new ways I’ve been able to relate to other people that I wouldn’t have been able to previously relate to. But isn’t that how the Lord works? He comes in and fills & repairs the broken areas of our lives, and He also then pours out through those broken parts of us and into the lives of others. (Here’s a book about that).

13. I learned (am learning) the ways that I not only value (idolize) other people’s opinions, but even their perceptions. I’m defining opinions here as the known thoughts of other people, while perceptions are the unknown — what they might be thinking, how they might be perceiving me. Living for either is “striving after wind”, like Ecclesiastes talks about. Idols, no matter what they are, don’t hold up in the end. They seem promising but leave you striving. It’s no way to live. I’m continuing to lean on the Lord to break those things.

14. I learned to step into more of a “go for it” mentality. Last year I said I wanted to thrive — I didn’t want to be inhibited anymore by fear or “what if”s. I can’t say I’ve done this successfully, because even more recently I’ve been faced with a lot of “what if”s as I’ve been in a bit of a swirly season. That’s normal for us as human beings and we’re not going to be entirely void of those questions or fears, but I have taken opportunities to try new things and pursue conversations where I share my ideas, despite fears of questions, and those have led to exciting things! I’ve asked the Lord for opportunities to go after things without fear, and boy has He allowed for that. I’ll even be finishing this calendar year by stepping into a new opportunity & trusting Him in a new way. Finishing this year going for it, down to the literal last minute.

15. I’ve learned more about my own passions. One of my good friends told me, “I feel like you’ve found your wheelhouse.” I think our 20s are sort of the grown up version of toddlerhood. You know? Toddlers are learning to be human beings. They’re learning how things work, discovering the world in new ways as they’re more aware of new things, and they’re just trying to figure it all out. That same sentence can be applied to me in my 20s. Childhood is gone and it’s a restart of sorts, into adulthood. I’m learning about the things that no one prepares you for in school. I’m learning all of the boring logistics of being an adult, sure, but I’m also trying to step into more of what the Lord has for me & how He wants to use my life specifically. What do I say no to? What do I say yes to? I’m still learning, but I do know some more specific areas that God has fashioned me to invest in His people, and it’s quite the adventure.

16. I'm learning that while I want to say “yes” to eternally significant things & shape my life around Kingdom-focused things (I’ve been very inspired by this book & want to have my own prayer of “anything”), that doesn’t mean saying “yes” to all of the eternally significant things. I’ve moved into a works-based mentality, not in regards to salvation, but with how I’m walking in obedience. I want to walk in obedience and yes, that is good, but that thought process has been distorted into a belief that if saying “yes” to eternally significant things is obedience, then having to say “no” to eternally significant things, even for the sake of my own health & well-being, must mean disobedience. That can’t be a way to live. This actually speaks to #10 on my post last year. Looks like I’m still in process, and that’s okay.

17. I’m learning to ask the Lord to take me deeper. He reveals Himself to us in part (1 Cor. 13:12). There’s always going to be more to discover, even when we’re with Him and have all of eternity to find out more. When we ask Him to show us more of who He is, I’ve come to believe more and more that He will do it. He will show us. Oftentimes what comes with that, though, is Him having to correct or reshape some knowledge we have about Him that aren’t quite right. That’s hard, but it’s worth it. At IF: Gathering 2019, Jennie Allen said, “There are things we know, there are things we don’t know, and there are things that we think we know but we do not know, and I’m afraid that one of those things is God.” I’m willing to be reshaped & molded in new ways if it means having a more accurate view of who my God is.

18. I’m learning that when the question of “how are you?” is asked, I want to answer honestly the first time. As I was walking through a challenging time during the fall - a time of physical exhaustion, mental fog, and emotional numbness & sadness - it didn’t leave much room for pretending like everything was alright. I’ve realized that when you’re going through a funk, it’s only more of a hassle to maintain demeanor that things are good. So I want to answer honestly. I even caught myself mid-interaction when I had answered “good” to someone and then paused, had to laugh a little, and say “I just lied to you.” I’m not sure why we do this as humans, but I do know that vulnerability breeds vulnerability and we need more of it.

19. I’ve learned how to navigate new, sometimes hard, conversations with close friends. One of my dearest friends is about to enter into marriage and I realized that this is the first time I’m experiencing someone in my closest circle transition into this new season. (I’ve had many friends get married by this point, but it seems like those have happened after another shift comes first, so it doesn’t seem as abrupt — graduating from college, not necessarily as close anymore, different locations, etc.) It’s okay to grieve the ways a friendship may shift, even if all of the circumstances surrounding that shift are good and exciting. It’s worth talking to your friend about it. She may be experiencing a similar sadness. Another of my dearest friends is walking through what she would consider the hardest journey of her life thus far that she never foresaw coming - a shift that I personally haven’t walked through - and that has led to hard conversations, too. But these hard conversations are worth it, and they’ve given me opportunities to press into things I would normally want to avoid or suppress. Even if you can’t relate, empathize 100%, or even know what to do, enter into it with her anyway. Friendships, like any of us as individuals, are shaped & strengthened by the kneading & pressing. I believe this is a way we can live out Romans 12:15)

20. I’m learning to find out what my non-negotiables are. Things are consistently going to shift in life. I’ll say “yes” to some things and have to say “no” to other things (since saying “yes” to something means saying “no” to something else, and vise versa). Loving God & His Word is a non-negotiable. Communicating my faith is a non-negotiable. Pouring my life into others & investing in younger women is a non-negotiable. (They’re all also Biblical). The ways and avenues through which I do that may shift, but the non-negotiables will stay. Anything else can go.

21. I’ve learned how to better shape my prayers around praising and adoring God for who He is. (Sara Hagerty’s guides have helped with this!) My prayer life has also been shaped by asking specific questions as I read through Scripture (what it teaches me about God, about my sin & need for Him, how the grace I have in Christ is crucial to cause the change I need, and what kind of practical change should happen). I think we can get caught up in a “script” as we pray, or we lack in prayer entirely (guilty), so there’s always room to grow in our prayer lives. After all, out of all the things the disciples could’ve blatantly asked Jesus to teach them to do, they asked Him to teach them how to pray. (Luke 11) I’ve also been the recipient of the power of praying friends, and have seen the Lord answer those in very specific ways. Thankful.

22. I learned to be what I described as “fully alive and fully myself” during a wonderful summer of growth and healing as I got to work alongside the best and dearest of people in Ocean City, MD. I cried a lot this summer. Like, a lot. But I laughed even more, so that’s saying something. It was my favorite summer/staff experience thus far in the 6 years I’ve been in full-time ministry. I’m not sure if it’s entirely that I learned to be more fully myself as it is that I was given the opportunity to step into that more, mainly because of the kind of people I was with. And boy what a giant breath of fresh air that is after experiencing a lack of freedom in being fully who I am. I prayer I had written down for this year of my life was “that I would be even more fully + authentically myself”. Praise God.

23. I’ve continued to learn, through the provided experiences of this year, that ultimate reality & truth cannot be based on my feelings. I think this is one of those daily, lifelong reminders, though. Feelings are fickle and circumstances are momentary. I, we, have got to depend on something more solid. (Here’s my favorite book on that - though I read it a couple years ago at this point, I’m consistently referring back to it and recommending it to others in the midst of our culture that is so feelings-based.)

24. I’ve learned that when we create the space to cut the noise & hear from the Lord, He truly does show up. My example of this involved leaving the state & staying in a secluded airbnb in Tennessee. (I’d love to tell you more about it some other time). Creating space for solitude to be with the Lord doesn’t have to involve jumping on a plane (I was just that desperate, haha). There’s nothing extra special or spiritual about leaving the state, but there is such value in simply getting away. Jesus did it too (references) and let me remind you that He is God, so hooowww much MORE do I need time away with Him as a limited human being who is not at all perfect? It doesn’t have to mean taking a trip. I’m not saying I believe God speaks more clearly to us when we take a special trip. I believe He is speaking already, but do we create the space to meet with Him, get everything out on the table, and listen? I want to grow more in the spiritual discipline of silence and solitude.

25. I’m learning that somehow, in some cosmic, Divine way, trials and suffering really are for our good and can very well be an aspect of God’s kindness. Sure, God doesn’t take pleasure in the hardships that happen to us — the things that are a result of living in a fallen, corrupt world. But as I’ve heard Joni Eareckson Tada say, “God will let things occur that help my soul and increase my soul’s capacity for Himself” and, quoting Steve Estes, “God permits what He hates to accomplish that which He loves.” (listen here for more) I’ve also really loved & had to remind myself of this quote from Charles Spurgeon: “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”

26. I’ve learned how very specific dreams, especially ones related to God’s Kingdom, and with His help, can actually become a reality. I’ve been reflecting on last year’s list as a refresher for this one, and, to save you a look back, #26 says “I’ve learned - or rather, awakened to - the enormous need for Biblical literacy in our culture today. It’s grown to be a huge and urgent burden on my heart, and I plan to do something about that this year.” That last part causes chills and a smile, because (again, with the Lord’s help & guidance) I did just that. I’ve put together a 5 week course on Biblical literacy, taught it three times with three different groups of women, and the hope is that it will soon become a resource for more people. I’ll keep you posted. So, past Jocelyn, it happened. And future Jocelyn (& you, reader), keep seeking Him & running after Him with these big dreams. Place them in His hands and He will do something with them. (For sentiment sake, this is #26 for this year. How special!)

27. I’m learning more and more that walking with God is no joke. The more I read Scripture, the more I see that there’s no fence. Either Jesus is Lord of my life or He’s nothing at all. It’s difficult at times, but the difficulties are worth it. I continue to learn that He is so worth knowing.

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each year, I write down some things that I would hope to be true for the following year. Here are some of those:

• My birthday last year happened to fall on a day when we had a staff meeting, and my staff team (dear friends) each took time to pray over me. I recorded it at the time, then listened back to it and wrote everything down. I reflected on those things this year on my birthday, and let me tell you — each of the things they mentioned are either things that God has done in my life this year or is currently addressing now. On a separate page, after writing down the things they said, I wrote a prayer “that many of the staff team’s prayers would be true in my life.” He answered. Some examples: to trust and rely on God more + to know His presence in rich ways / grow in wisdom + understanding of who God is / patience & reliance on His timing / having the confidence to pursue God’s Will / endurance to run & patience to wait / clarity & wisdom in ministry / growth in giftings & discernment for how to use them / knowing when to speak to the multitudes & when to be in a desolate place with Him.

• I prayed that I would have memorized more Scripture + planted more of the Word in my mind and heart. Though the memorization part has slacked, I did recently spend some time putting part of Psalm 139 into practice, and it has allowed me to focus on God’s intricate care, His presence, & it’s helping with the correction of false beliefs & the tearing down of strongholds. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

• Regarding #26, an exact prayer in my journal was, “Lord, please work in + through me to prep for/teach a course on Biblical literacy. May I be able to do it at multiple campuses.” The Lord exceeded that second sentence by allowing me to lead it on a summer mission & in my church. Still blown away & looking forward to what He’ll do next.

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My hope is that all of these things would point you to rejoice in God’s work in your own life. I pray that you would reflect on his faithfulness to you. May you sing His grace in the good and bad, in all seasons, trusting that He is the one with all power and authority & He is worthy of your praise. May we never cease giving Him glory.

I love hanging out over on instagram. If you happen to have any questions about any of these things, or want to have a conversation about it, feel free to reach out!

New Year, New Appreciation for The Word

The New Year is a fresh start, but it can come with a bit of pressure, right?
What are your New Year's Resolutions?! Did you take adequate time to really reflect on the past year? You probably should or you're not going to change as much as you should in the future. Are your resolutions doable or too unrealistic? I mean, they should be a little out of reach so you can really go for it, right?

It seems like people either lean to the side of having a lot of goals and resolutions, or not doing any because it's just so overwhelming and unrealistic and you can't be bothered (I tend to lean more toward this end).

It’s a couple weeks into the New Year now, so let’s do a little check-in. Do you still have your "New Year, New Me" mindset? Are you keeping up with those goals? Have any died off? Resolutions can be great things, so I’m not saying that it’s pointless to make some goals to better yourself. I even decided to jump on the bandwagon this year with some things I’ll share in a bit.

A question that probably influences your resolutions (or intentions - a friend used this word instead and I quite like it) is “what’s really important?” If you see your physical health as being really important and something that you want to see as a priority this year, you’ll probably execute a new or better eating plan, hit the gym a little more, or drink more water. If you see your mental health as one of your most important things, incorporating more self-care might be a priority for you.

Another thing that influences these decisions is the end result. What’s the goal? Lose weight? Feel better about yourself? Grow in your creativity? Learn a new skill? Get out of your comfort zone? Talk to any self-help pro and they’ll tell you that finding your ‘Why?’ is one of the most important things.

By the end of 2019, what would you like to say you’ve done? More importantly, who do you want to be by the end of the year? What do you want to be true of you?

May I propose some things?

What if you loved Jesus more this year? What if you lived, really lived, in light of the truth and promises He offers? What if you came to know God’s Word unlike ever before? What if you were enabled to make bigger and bolder decisions and commitments in light of the abundant life Jesus promises when you say “yes” to Him? What if you discovered more of who God created & intended you to be? What if you came out from under the yoke of unrealistic expectations of perfection, trying harder, or doing your best to just get it right. What if you experienced true grace? What if you saw freedom from habitual sin? What if you experienced more of the Gospel working itself out in your life as you look to Jesus as the only One Who could and did get it right so that you could experience the freedom that results from death being defeated?

Okay. That was a lot. I got fired up. But what if?!

I truly believe - I know - that God’s Word offers all of these things. His Word is the primary means by which we get to know Him. And all of those other great benefits listed above are just extra. Now that’s a great ‘why?’.

I’m in this too. I got a little off track last year with my reading plan so I’m picking it back up - that’s okay! Want to join me in this endeavor?!
Let’s know the Lord more this year.

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Here’s a great plan that I know multiple people are using. If you didn’t start on the 1st, that’s okay! Start today. Tick them off as you go!

Here’s the Reading Plan app I’m using. You can pick your start date as today (or whenever you start) and even choose from different plans, whether thematic, chronologically, book by book, etc. I’m doing the chronological plan to get a better grasp of the bigger story in light of the order that the books were written.

who’s with me?

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For the sake of it, here are some of my other New Year’s Intentions, which are far more realistic & doable than years past, so I’m hoping they’ll stick! :

• I want to wisely use my social media platforms, like this one, to post more encouraging and raw things about how God is working in my life. Social media is used for so many negative things. Let’s get in there and redeem it, shall we?

• Similar to that, I want to have at least semi-regular blog posts. I journal my personal thoughts more than I post here, but I want to get into a routine of sharing some of those thoughts with the world. If all we post are the highlight reels and pretty filters, what good is that? And if you’d like to help me with this, feel free to share if there’s any content you’d like to see on the blog!

• READ MORE. In addition to the Bible, I’d love to start and finish more books this year. I’m doing pretty well so far! I’ve been trying to have my downtime by 10:30pm and read a book before going to bed. Which leads into my next thing.

• Utilizing the Screen Time feature on my phone has honestly been so great. It’s become a competition with myself to get my weekly percentage down. And the time limits on the individual apps have helped my discipline so much in saying “okay, I’m done.” You guys, we have more self control than we think we do.

• I’d like to be better at picking up the phone to call friends (& answer when they call), and being off when I’m in their presence.

• In addition to staying in the Word, I want to memorize more Scripture. I want to get it down deep into my heart. If you grew up in the church, you know that Scripture memory was a regular thing in Sunday school. At what point did we lose that, and why? There’s a real battle going on out there and we can guard ourselves from it as much as we can, but we also need to sharpen our knowledge of our primary offensive weapon, am I right?

• I want to pace myself - focusing on the essentials and doing a few things really well, giving them each the time and dedication they deserve.
  

feel free to share yours with me!
you can drop any thoughts below :)

26 Things in 26 Years

Well you guys, I think this is really becoming a thing now. Two years in a row shows consistency, yeah?

Last year I made the decision that I was going to try to put off my quarter life crisis for as long as possible (you guys I’m so olllldddd). While I haven’t made any sort of wild or impulsive decisions like a mid-life crisis stereotypically involves, this year has certainly weighed on me in a way that as resulted in some now-visible forehead wrinkles and eeeeven some hair loss, y’all. Hellooooo stress. (Also I think I’ve lived in Virginia long enough to be able to say ya’ll. I still find myself hesitant to say it but I really want to be part of the club.)

Oh, I was also diagnosed with TMJ this year. It’s really all downhill from here, isn’t it?

Okay WOW WHAT A DOWNER. To be completely honest, it really hasn’t been all bad. I’m still young and spry! But the Jocelyn who wrote her 25 Things last year had no idea what was coming for her. Some of the hardships that tied up my 25th year definitely trickled into my 26th. *But* there were so many sweet and life-giving things about it, too. If “rollercoaster” was used to describe one of my years, this would without-a-doubt be one of them. I’ve learned some things during this trip around the sun - some themes that I really hold dear. And because of those aforementioned new forehead wrinkles, I think that means I might now be able to impart at least some wisdom through these life lessons.

So here they are: 26 Things in 26 Years

1. I learned that I’m an Enneagram 9 (without. a. doubt.) and the giftings & challenges that come along with that. (yes, we’re off to a good start. If the Enneagram bug hasn’t bitten you yet, you need to hop onto this party bus.) This new information has really benefited me as I try to navigate how I best grow, or the characteristics & behaviors that come up when I’m stressed. I learned that my voice and my presence matter and are needed. Yay for better self awareness!

2. I’ve learned that diving more into faulty core beliefs, lies, and woundedness (along with how deep those things go & how they affect my current reality) is really hard. But it allows for such grace from the grace-Giver to flood in and heal.

3. I learned that while I’m really starting to find my voice (huge for a 9), that doesn’t mean I have to stand in the line of fire or take every swing against me. Finding and using my voice doesn’t mean I’m indestructible. I can choose when to use my voice and when to remove myself from a situation. Stand up, yes, but also realize when the fight is worth it and when it isn’t.

4. I learned that hardships are a way for God to set the stage for something else. Nothing is wasted. God doesn’t have a dark side. All things are for good. He doesn’t tease, and He brings all things to light. He is Light itself. (1 John 1)

5. I learned that I never want to put anything on too high of a pedestal that when it falls, it crushes me. There are many good things in life, but they’re not ultimate things.

6. I’ve learned to ask for help. It’s good to not only ask for help for accountability but to also simply say “hey, I’m not okay.” Receive help. Take a break.

7. I’ve learned & thought more about the concept of both/and. You don’t need to be in the clear of a painful situation in order to experience joy and celebration. Pain and joy can happen simultaneously. There’s room for both. It’s both/and. It’s hard to live in that tension sometimes, but thankfully, Jesus can still meet you there, in the midst of both things.

8. I learned more about my own limitedness. Part of this year involved being in a season of having so many different spinning plates. Sometimes you need someone to look you in the face and say “everything about you - physically, mentally, emotionally -  is telling you to stop.” I’m thankful someone did. Limitedness is okay and points us back to Jesus. Part of humility is just that: owning what you need to own while acknowledging your limits as a human.

9. I learned simply to trust and obey. Amidst all of the questions, all of the swirling + madness, all of the unknowns. I just need to trust, zakar, remember who God is in any and all circumstances and simply obey and say “yes” to whatever He may have for me.

10. I learned more about truly having the right view of who God is. That’s a given, right? But I’m not talking about it in the sense of questioning my faith in Jesus and who He is, but rather taking a look at how often I project false perceptions on Him based on my own painful or finite experiences. (I.E. He’ll respond to me with disappointment or shame because that’s what I’ve experienced from other people vs. Him looking towards me with delight as His child.) Sometimes we have to ask if we have the wrong God. I don’t want a God who I’ve formed in my own mind. I want the One who is.

11. I learned and thought more about God’s glory. Here’s a great podcast that caused me to think about this topic in new ways. All things are for His purposes & His glory. This caused me to ask how I can - even in the midst of questions and unknowns - trust His greater purpose and give Him glory in all things, both big and small.

12. I learned how harmful and unhealthy it is to live in light of other’s expectations of who you are, who you need to be, and what decisions you need to make. It’s not freeing. But it has taught me to fiercely pursue being fully, authentically and unapologetically myself.

13. I learned more about the benefit of having solid women in my life. Ones who know me deeply. Ones who are in various life stages and can easily and wisely speak into the one I’m in. Ones who will be willing to tell me hard truths but will also give so much grace when the one being hard on me is myself.

14. I learned that perseverance doesn’t mean you’re able to handle any & every hard thing without difficulty. Perseverance implies that there has been difficulty, yet you press on despite those things. Perseverance is evidence of hardship. Just like courage implies that some sort of fear is involved. So while I don’t feel very much strength or that I’m persevering, I can look to Jesus who has given me His strength to do so.

15. I learned that I have the ability to “show up” and voice my opinions, as well as carry them out. Having a go-with-the-flow personality doesn’t have to equate to merging with other people’s thoughts & opinions. And you know what, dang it, that’s a great thing. (sorry not sorry that there are so many lessons related to my growth as a 9)

16. I learned that I put I high value on other’s insight. I don’t desire to make any sort of decision out of impulsivity, and there’s such a benefit to having key people to word vomit to. And at the end of the day, I’m free to execute my own resolution. Gather wisdom. Glean from others.

17. I am comfortable in the gray. Certain things are black and white, but often times, that’s not how life works. Sometimes you just need to navigate the in between and take the bad with the good - the messy with the meticulous. And that’s okay.

18. I learned that it’s exhausting to have to fight to be heard, but what matters is staying true to myself. Know your worth. If you’re made to feel like you have to fight to be heard, let it be a realization that the recipient may not be worthy to hear you.

19. I learned that sometimes you need to bawl your eyes out in a good friend’s bed. It’s okay to fall apart sometimes.

20. I learned that the end of something doesn’t equate to a fail. The positive moments and important lessons learned along the way are still valuable and aren’t meant to be cast aside. What I mean is, just because you experience an end of something, it doesn’t negate the valuable lessons the Lord taught you along the way. The two can be isolated truths; one doesn’t invalidate the other.

21. I learned that books and podcasts have really become my “things”. I’ve had more and more people coming to me for recommendations for both. And you know, I don’t hate it. I love sharing and cheering on the creators I love!

22. I learned that I don’t have to shrink back in fear when it comes to taking a chance on things - specifically creative projects - that I know I’d enjoy. I can jump into something new, without hesitancy, and with an attitude of “why not?” all while telling my fears that they can hit the road. Who cares if it doesn’t go perfectly? Who cares if you change your mind later and do something else? Just go for it. I plan to do more of that in my 27th year.

23. I’ve learned to pursue more minimalism (can I say that? is that an oxymoron?) in a number of different ways - now encouraged by Cozy Minimalist Home -  and I’ve learned how freeing it is to stick to the essentials, specifically in my living space. Also how fun is it to find your own style?!

24. I’ve learned that even seemingly perfect & idealistic situations can’t pale in comparison to what God has instead. Even when it seems so clear that things will go one way, be open to the chance of the Lord intending something different.

25. I’ve learned to continue to trust and truly believe that God’s Word is more true than my circumstances, and to choose with my will to walk by faith instead of feelings.

26. I’ve learned - or rather, awakened to - the enormous need for Biblical literacy in our culture today. It’s grown to be a huge and urgent burden on my heart, and I plan to do something about that this year.

…

I cried a lot this year. Rejoiced a lot this year. Felt alone this year. Felt belittled. Felt empowered. And in all these things, I’ve experienced the sweetness of Jesus all the more.

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In an effort to show you just a small piece of that sweetness, I wanted to share a handful of answered prayers (I had written each of these in my notebook this year) :

• Increased monthly support
• That students would come to faith this year (praises!)
• Clarity + direction
• I’ve been wanting a community of women outside of Cru for years now, and that came true this year! So thankful for the women’s Bible study I’m attending.
• That I would become more passionate about specific callings.
• That I would know more of what it means to listen + answer God.
• That I would be even less inhibited to make decisions (slowly but surely - had a lot of opportunities to grow in that this year)
• That my walk with Jesus would be even stronger
•That I would have given thanks in all things.

Just look at the faithfulness of God.

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Undimmed Eyes + Unabated Vigor | Deuteronomy Series

We've found ourselves at the end of the series! Following the story of the Israelites can be exhausting, quite frankly. They've gone through so much, have been obedient at times, questioning at times, rebellious at times, repentant at times, and joyful at times. Such a wide range of circumstances and emotions! It's been quite the rollercoaster. One of the main things I couldn't help but think as I got toward the end of the book was "Moses has GOT to be exhausted. He must be sick. and. tired. I certainly would've had enough of these people by now. Imagine LEADING them?!"

And on top of it all, we find out that, due to his own disobedience (32:48-52), Moses doesn't even get to go into the Promised Land! Man, what I thing to hear, to be told that he would see the Promised Land but not be able to enter into it. I couldn't help but think gosh, he can't catch a break. The book finishes up with chapter 34 and tells of the death of Moses:

Then Moses went up from the plains of Moab to Mount Nebo, to the top of Pisgah, which is opposite Jericho. And the Lord showed him all the land, Gilead as far as Dan, all Naphtali, the land of Ephraim and Manasseh, all the land of Judah as far as the western sea, the Negeb, and the Plain, that is, the Valley of Jericho the city of palm trees, as far as Zoar. And the Lord said to him, “This is the land of which I swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, ‘I will give it to your offspring.’ I have let you see it with your eyes, but you shall not go over there.” So Moses the servant of the Lord died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the Lord, and he buried him in the valley in the land of Moab opposite Beth-peor; but no one knows the place of his burial to this day. Moses was 120 years old when he died. // Deuteronomy 34:1-7a

I had a little bit of trouble with this as I read. Sure, the people of Israel were disobedient and had their own fair share of consequences. Heck, a whole generation died off during their 40 years in the wilderness, so those people weren't allowed to see the Promised Land either. But Moses? After all he'd been through? Why did he only get to see it from a distance? Can it even be said that he finished well if he didn't even get to go in?

How about you? Are you asking these questions about anything in your life?

As I thought about it and read the words of this scenario, I imagined Moses sitting on top of this mountain, now at the end of his life, taking in the view. Although he didn't get to go in because there was a consequence of his sin, how kind of God to allow him to see the land that was promised to his people years + years before? That in itself is such a privilege! I wonder what was going through his mind.

It can seem unfair or sad, but Moses finished well.

It was probably a great relief to come to rest on the top of the mountain after such a long + trying journey (with a bunch of stubborn people), + finally be able to enter into the Lord's presence, which would ultimately be better than the Promised Land! He did run the race well, and the days allotted for him now came to an end. Was he exhausted? Did he feel that this was unfair? I assume he was ready to be done with it all and just be with the Lord, quite honestly. But then I read the very next sentence:

"His eye was undimmed, and his vigor unabated."

The word "unabated" means "without any reduction in intensity or strength". Wow, this stopped my curiosity about whether or not Moses was ready to throw in the towel. I'm sure he was ready to be with the Lord and finish his race, but his eye being undimmed implies to me that he didn't lose sight of the mission he was on and the role that he had. The fact that his strength didn't waver implies such a steadfastness that leaves no room for a bitter heart due to all of the hard circumstances. 

This is how I want to lead. This is how I want to approach hard things. Untouched by a tainted outlook. Eyes on the prize and on the Lord till the very end. As I'm writing this, I flipped to Hebrews 11 to refresh myself on what the "Hall of Faith" chapter had to say about him. 

"He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward." - Hebrews 11:26

Perspective in check. Eyes on the prize. Moses wasn't a perfect leader, and there was a lot of hard stuff that happened - a lot of baggage to carry (likely literally and figuratively) for a role that big. But he finished well, looking to the Lord, always reminding himself and the people he led of what was truth about the Lord their God. And God in His kindness allowed Moses to get a look at the land He promised Abraham many years before, and then took Moses Home. I love what the last bit of chapter 34 says about him. A sort of eulogy, if you will:

And there has not arisen a prophet since in Israel like moses, whom the lord knew face to face, none like him for all the signs and the wonders that the Lord sent him to do in the land of Egypt, to pharaoh and to all his servants and to all his land, and for all the mighty power and all the great deeds of terror that Moses did in the sight of all israel. - Deut. 34:10-12

Sure he did a lot of cool stuff. He got to witness so many miracles happen and got to be the one to lead an entire people group into freedom. But the Lord also knew him face to face. He walked with Jesus intimately. He walked by faith. And I'd say that's what success looks like.

Look to Jesus.
Remember that we are just like this people group, wayward and forgetful.
Remember that God is leading you, just as He did with them, and He knows the bigger picture.
Remember that He is good. His commands for you are for your provision + protection.
Remember to be careful to lock away these commands in your heart. Hold fast to them because obedience leads to life and blessing.
Remember that even as things seem near impossible, just trust and obey. God is bigger than the things in front of you. Remember who He is.
Remember that He has given you all that you need in order to follow Him closely. You are capable in Him.

experience his goodness. sing his grace. 

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Thank you for coming along on this journey through the Deuteronomy series. I so enjoyed processing through these things myself and sharing pieces of my heart with you. My hope is that you would love the Lord more and be curious about His Word, fall in love with it, and have a new excitement to discover the unique purposes that He has for your life. ♡ Don't hesitate to drop a note on the contact page or come say hi on instagram. Much love - xo

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The Truth About Being Capable | Deuteronomy Series

I have a handful of faulty core beliefs - we all do. These beliefs are ones that are not actually true of us but have been embedded in us from various life experiences. One of mine is that I'm not good or capable enough to handle something/take on a task/etc, so I should run from it or not even try. I would even say that many moments in my life have been marked by "I can't".
I can't tie my shoes.
I can't write in cursive (had a big meltdown about that in second grade).
I can't do this research assignment.
I can't mentor college students well enough.
I can't share the Gospel. 

The list goes on and on. I don't necessarily feel this with every situation, but it comes up a lot and I have to actively work through why that's not true. I have to remind myself of promises in Scripture and experiences where I know I have been capable of doing something.

Because this is a very present struggle in my life, when I was reading through the end of chapter 29, these words stuck out to me:

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

— Deuteronomy 29:29

What assurance this offers! In a book that is greatly about obedience and loving the Lord with everything I have, and being so careful to keep His commands, it can be easy to let those same words creep up again: I can't do that. The truth is that I can't do this perfectly but I can do it because God has given me everything I need to do so. Certain things about God haven't been revealed to us - I think a major reason for that is probably because our brains couldn't even handle or comprehend it. But the things that have been revealed aid us in following Him wholeheartedly. And the secret things cause us to have to trust and obey. This verse in chapter 29 reminded me of 2 Peter 1:3-4:

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence..."

I definitely recommend reading the rest of this chapter in 2 Peter because it goes on to talk about how we carry this out and also emphasizes the importance of remembering what Jesus has done for us and how that is a driving factor behind our obedience and other God-honoring qualities.

This leads into Deuteronomy 30, which is another summing up of obedience being from a place of love and the Lord giving blessings out of that according to the promises and purposes He originally intended. Obedience, blessing, and God's character are so beautifully woven together in this chapter, and it even shows that obedience is best done through the act of remembrance. Moses tells them to "call these things to mind" (verse 1). After this beginning section, Moses makes this statement in verse 11:

“For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven that you should say ‘Who will ascend heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.”

— Deuteronomy 30:11-14

You guys. These commands of movement towards life are doable and realistic. The Lord has made His Word and His commands accessible for us and has not made it hard for us. It's not some sort of mystery or unattainable thing that we need to figure out and hope we get right. It doesn't take reaching a certain level of holiness. The word is near. We have everything we need pertaining to life and godliness through God's word. But also, the Word is near. The Word Himself - the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us, as described in John 1. Praise the Lord that He is with us and as we walk with Him, we love Him more, and we obey His commands as a result of that. How freeing is that?!

He simply wants my heart (Psalm 51:15-17), and if I love Him with all my heart - every part of me and every area of my life wholly surrendered to Him - I will obey His commands.

Moses goes on to communicate in vs. 15-20 that there's a big choice to make and there's a lot on the line. Obeying God's voice leads to life & blessing, and disobedience leads to perishing. They are told again to hold fast to Him, for He is their very life. We are told the same thing in Colossians 3:4, which talks about putting on the "new self" - our new identity in Christ - and seeking the things that are above, aka: our obedience. Full circle, right?

Let these truths encourage you today. This life isn't easy, but the Lord your God has given you everything you need. Although other things may shift and change, His presence is always promised. Store His Word up in your heart, meditate on how He sees you, fall more in love with Him, and the result will be obedience and continuing to walk in His Will. He makes you capable and sufficient.

"I have stored up Your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." - Psalm 119:11

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Trust and Obey | Deuteronomy Series

This post is honestly a little more unexpected. We're not going to pick apart a passage, and in fact, we'll only be looking at a small part of Deuteronomy. God simply met me where I was in this section and sent me on a bit of a journey to find some key things that my soul needed. 

So if you're willing to follow along with me, I'll invite you into how He did that as I made my way through chapter 19.

All throughout the book, I marked truths about God or His promises in yellow, and in orange I marked any sort of commands for the Israelites, reminders to remember or be careful, or anything pertaining to the human condition.

Chapters 19 and 20 contain a lot of logistics and laws surrounding cities of refuge, property boundaries, witnesses, and warfare, but one particular section of chapter 19 had caught my eye. It's not like it was anything new, given the entire book gives constant reminders of what God intends to do and what the people must do to experience those things fully and walk in God's promises. But I took a bit of an extra notice as I processed what this looks like in my own life, especially in light of facing a few different hard challenges lately. My thought process went a little like this:

Love God. Obey Him. Doing that causes us to experience Him more. Loving Him HAS to involve trusting Him and His character. Trust, and then obey.

It was then that the lyrics of the old hymn popped in my mind:

"Trust and obey,
for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey."

I took some time to pull up the rest of the lyrics and remind myself of the truth in each of the stanzas. Such sweet reminders in these old simple hymns. 

Okay Lord, thank you. I can surrender to you. I can move forward, being diligent with the things I can control, and entrust the rest of all the unknowns to You. You've given me all I need in Your Word. I simply need to love You and walk in Your ways. Help me to trust and obey.

I figured this special reminder would end there, but it didn't. After finishing my time in Deuteronomy, I flipped to the Psalms. Sometimes I like to read + pray through a Psalm that corresponds to the day of the month. It was the 20th, so I flipped to Psalm 20. The title?

"trust in the name of the Lord our God"

Guess this concept of trust wasn't going to be left in Deuteronomy. I read on, praying through it as I go:

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. The collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.”

— psalm 20:7-8

Okay God, I think I have an understanding of what it means to trust, but do I really?
I want to trust You and walk in Your ways, but what does it actually mean to trust and how can I do it well?

Like the Blue Letter Bible-loving nerd that I am, I decide to look up the word used for "trust" in this passage. The word is zakar. HOWEVER. Get ready, friends. This same word is also used around 184 other times as a different English word. Which word? REMEMBER. WHAT.

When I don't know what's ahead, when there's so many unknowns and so many things I can't control, when I don't know which tracks to run on or feel deep anxiety or have no idea if any of this is actually going to work out, I must remember who my God is. I must remember what He's capable of. I must remember His goodness. I must hold fast to what He says about me and who He has called me to be. I must speak to my soul and remind it, as David did, to hope in the Lord because He is my exceeding joy (Psalm 42 + 43). As descendants of Adam, members of the human race, our souls are naturally forgetful. We must fight back against that. Dig into God's Word + get people around you who will be in this fight with you to trust and obey.

trust in the lord your god. remember who he is. renew your mind.

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resources

Check out this version of Trust and Obey. Let the words sink in.

Read & pray through Psalm 42 + 43. Borrow David's raw & honest feelings if you can't seem to find words for your own right now. Remind your soul of who your God is.

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Be Careful + Hold Fast | Deuteronomy Series

Multiple things are implied when someone tells you to "be careful". The person saying those words probably cares about you. They're probably letting you know or even warning you about something so that could harm you; they don't want you to get hurt. The words are probably being said in your best interest.

These words, or some variation of them, come up a ton in Deuteronomy. So much so that I decided to take note of each one of them and came up with 34 times, and I'm realizing now that that's one time for every chapter in the book. Some chapters say it more than others (6 times in chapter 12 alone). And this isn't even counting the amount of times the words "remember," "hear" or "listen" are used, but the same message is implied with those.

We likely know by now that Deuteronomy has a lot to do with obedience. Each time Moses uses some variation of this "be careful" phrase, it's tied to obedience and following God's commands (5:32; 7:11), or being careful to not forget (4:9,23; 8:11), or being aware of the state of one's heart (11:16; 15:9). It's by doing this that they will fulfill the original promise made to Abraham to be a blessing to other nations. If they are careful and hold fast to who God is, who He has called them to be, and the commands He has given them, other people will witness it and know that they're God is the One true God.

This brings me to the second phrase that I saw repeated multiple times: hold fast. The word used in each of these places is dabaq, meaning cling, stay close, cleave, follow hard, or abide. I love those synonyms! This is the same word used in the famous marriage passage in Genesis where it says that a man shall leave his family and cleave, or hold fast, to his wife.

As I thought about these things, my mind went to Psalm 139:10, where it says "...Your right hand will hold me fast." The word used here is 'achaz, literally meaning grasp, take hold, seize, or take possession. Although it's not the same word, I thought it was fitting to make the connection. Friend, He has you! Later on in this series we'll talk about how sometimes the command to obey can be daunting. It seems impossible, and it is impossible to obey perfectly. But we obey knowing that Christ has a hold on us. He keeps us in His care and He protects and provides for us, just as He did with the Israelites.

This command doesn't end in Deuteronomy because Joshua reminds them of the same thing in Joshua 23! Again, these commands were to a specific people group, but we've established that we're not much different than them. What similar commands to we as believers have? Jesus says in John 14:15 that our obedience is motivated from our love for Him. We can best do this when we understand His goodness (like we covered last week) and the truth that every command is for our provision and protection. The Gospels, the letters Paul wrote to believers, and many other places in the New Testament show us what obedience looks like for us as believers. 

We also need not fear that we're in this alone. We need to have community, other followers of Jesus, to help us in our pursuit to be careful and hold fast. And God has also given us His promised Holy Spirit, which we see later on in chapter 14 of John: "These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you." (v.26) What'd I tell you? Scripture makes it easy to tie things back to remembrance. 

These continuous reminders to "be careful" and "hold fast" in the book of Deuteronomy set us up for the truth that we can trust and obey Christ as we move forward in our walks with Him. There will be more on that next week! In the meantime, continue (or start) your own reading. Don't hesitate to tell us a little bit more about what you're discovering as you read! The hope is that this series will help you better depend on Jesus + the truth of His Word.

Be careful to obey, knowing that He desires to do you good, all while holding fast to Him, knowing that He has you securely in His care, too.

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resources

I love using Blue Letter Bible to look up words in Scripture in order to better understand the context and see where else those same words are used.

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The Goodness of God | Deuteronomy Series

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“The goodness of God is that which disposes Him to be kind, cordial, benevolent, and full of good will toward men. He is tenderhearted and of quick sympathy, and His unfailing attitude toward all moral beings is open, frank, and friendly. By His nature He is inclined to bestow blessedness and He takes holy pleasure in the happiness of His people.”

— A.W. Tozer // The Knowledge of the Holy

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Do you believe this is true? We hear the phrases - "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good" - and the verses - "all things work together for good for those who love God" - and the songs - "Let the King of my heart be the shadow where I hide, the ransom for my life, oh He is my song. You are good, good.." 

But I'm gonna be honest: sometimes as I'm singing that song, it's like I'm trying to convince my heart that it's true. Intellectually, yes I know it's true. Because I believe the Bible, I believe that what it says about God is true. But in my circumstances, I can question it. And I don't think this is necessarily wrong - because life is hard and messy and things aren't always going to be smooth - but questioning it emphasizes the fact that this truth can be hard to believe, and I need to renew my mind with truth even when my circumstances seemingly contradict it. I also need to remind myself of the experiences I've had of God's faithfulness and goodness.

Lyrics like the ones in "King of My Heart" can offer a "I believe, help my unbelief" (Mark 9:14-29) moment for us. Singing those words or reading Scripture about how God is good doesn't mean things are always fine and dandy, but we can choose to surrender and believe that, despite my present situation, what I know to be true about God still reigns supreme.

If you don't know already or haven't seen/heard any other SHG content, remembrance is a huge deal to me. I'm finding that even in this series, it doesn't take serious effort to tie things back to it because Scripture makes it easy.

In Deuteronomy 8, Moses is prompting the people to remember who the Lord their God is:

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.”

— Deuteronomy 8:2

Moses continues by recounting their journey. He doesn't shy away from the reality that it had been really hard, yet simultaneously, He points out God's provision and protection, reminding them of His character:

“And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, not did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years.”

— Deuteronomy 8:3-4

That's crazy to me! And side note, does that sound familiar? The same words mentioned in verse 3 are the same words that Jesus speaks to Satan during His temptation in the wilderness in Matthew 4. He perfectly expressed His dependence on and obedience toward God, not only being an example to us on how to handle temptation, but being the hero of the whole story. The One who did perfectly what the people in Deuteronomy - and you and I - fail to do in our forgetfulness and idolatry. The whole story of the Bible breathes Jesus and points to Jesus. How beautiful.

As I continued reading, noted all the times the word "good" is used in this chapter (& all of these are best read in context - so go check it out!):

"For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land..." (v. 7-9)
"And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land He has given you." (v.10)
"...lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your hearts be lifted up, and you forget the Lord Your God, who brought you out of the land Egypt, out of the house of slavery." (vs. 12-14)
"...that He might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end." (v. 16)

Yes the journey had been hard, but look at all that God had done! And His ultimate purpose? He wanted to humble them so that they may know that they would be a mess on their own (v. 2 - the state of their heart), and that He is the sole provider and protector for them (v. 3 - living not on bread alone but the truth of His Word). The word used for "testing you to know" & "that He might make you know" is yada` which means, get this: to know, learn to know, or to learn from experience. And ultimately, that is for their good. All of this is in the context of remembering what God has done and who He is.

He is good. He gives good. He desires to bring more good.

We have a similar reminder in Romans 8:28, where we're told that if we've been made new in Christ and have been called to His purposes, all things work together for our good. And, lest you forget, be sure to tack on verse 29: "For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son..."

Just in case you're perfect, I'll speak for myself: to conform me to the image of Jesus is going to take a lot of refinement and reshaping and renewing. It's going to take getting in there and getting at the very core of my heart. Hm, refer back to Deuteronomy 8:2 up top.

The Lord sees and discerns my heart just as much as He did with these people. 

This chapter finishes with what will happen if the people continue to forget God and serve other things instead. This is something that we'll continue to see through this book as Moses reminds them of life and death, blessing and curse. We also see "take care" and "be careful" in chapter 8, which is another theme of the book and something we'll be talking more about next week.

It would've been hard for the Israelites to see God as good through their many challenges. But their feelings about whether or not He is didn't change the fact that He is. Your circumstances don't get to decide the character of God. His character is set in stone. We can trust the One who is good, has shown us His goodness, is able to do immeasurably more (Eph. 3:20), and who desires to do us good in the end (Deut 8:16).

I think it's important to look at this series through the lens of God's goodness. Reminding you of this truth, along with many others, is something that both Mel and I want to emphasize through the podcast and through the posts or series I put out on the blog.

We remember His goodness, and we sing His grace.

“From [Jesus] we learn how God acts toward people. The hypocritical, the basically insincere, will find Him cold an aloof, as they once found in Jesus; but the penitent will find Him merciful; the self-condemned will find Him generous and kind. To the frightened He is friendly, to the poor in spirit He is forgiving, to the ignorant, considerate; to the weak, gentle; to the stranger, hospitable.”

— A.W. Tozer // The Knowledge of the Holy

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resources

Ney Bailey talks a lot about how God's Word is truer than what we feel or what our present circumstances say in her book Faith is Not a Feeling. She does not negate that our feelings are valid, but she gives practical ways to shift our perspective in times that are less than ideal. Highly recommend!

A.W. Tozer's The Knowledge of the Holy -- the quotes used here were from chapter 16, "The Goodness of God"

King of My Heart - use this song to remind yourself of what's true about who God is. Even if you're struggling, tell your heart what's true about the God you believe in.

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Deuteronomy Series: An Introduction

At the start of the year I set out to work my way through the whole Bible chronologically [via the ReadingPlan app] by the end of 2018. To give you any idea of how that's been going, I just finished Deuteronomy around a month ago. Whoops! There have been many-a-day where I've been distracted, forgetful, or have switched things up by studying another book of the Bible.

I didn't intend for this chronological reading plan to be any sort of in depth study, but rather to simply read through it to gain a better understanding of the Bible as a whole and to grow in my Biblical literacy. Like many other things in life though, even this is panning out to be different than planned.

I've been fixed on the book of Deuteronomy and have been loving every minute. It's jam packed with many different themes and lots of repetition about who God is, the promises He's made, the disobedience of the Israelites, the blessings that come from obedience, and an emphasis on the importance of God's Word.

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A resource that really helped me as I started the book was The Bible Project. In addition to study Bible notes and commentaries, The Bible Project offers visual storytelling to help aid in your overall understanding of what you're reading. Check it out!                     [@thebibleproject]

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Back in Genesis 12, God made a promise to Abraham that was threefold:

• God would make him into a great nation

• He would make Abraham's name great

• And other nations of the world would be blessed through him. Blessed in order to be a blessing.

Fast forward to Deuteronomy and we've seen a lot from the Israelites that points to the human condition: intended to do right but broken; at times wanting to please God, but at other times straying far away. Even though you can read from Genesis to Deuteronomy fairly quickly [if you make it through the exile that is Leviticus, amiright?], the amount of time it actually encompasses can be easily missed. These people have been in slavery in Egypt for four. hundred. years. Moses comes along and delivers them, they make the long journey toward the Promised Land, but then end up wandering through the wilderness for four decades because they were such a wreck.  They even mention on multiple occasions that they think it'd actually be better for them to go back to slavery in Egypt. Moses recaps a lot of this in the opening chapters of the book. Through the course of his long speech he talks about the blessing and the curse, alluding to the fact that these people aren't going to keep up this "love the Lord your God" command. But this never started with the Israelite people; this inability to perfectly obey points to our fallenness as humans. It points to the beginning of time. I love the way the Bible Project video communicates this point. (3:35-4:40)

If we're being honest, it is frustrating. We follow the story of this people group who just can't get it right. How can you continue to turn your back, be angry, make false idols to worship, complain, not listen, wish you were back in slavery, etc. etc. - after all God has done for you and all you've been able to witness? Listen. We can have all the beef we want with the Israelite people (and the same goes for the disciples in the New Testament), but if we're being honest, can't we relate? We can't deny it.

Aren't we the same?

How often do we dilly-dally and potentially delay receiving God's promised goodness, all because we won't trust and obey?
How often do we question if God's plan or the journey He's taking us on is actually the best way?
How often do we say we'll obey God's Word and hide it in our hearts but then decide, "mmm nah"?
How often do we cause our own weariness and anxious thoughts all because we're a forgetful people who don't understand the character of our caring, merciful, and present Father?
How often do we have such a false view of who He is solely based on what we can only see right in front of us, instead of the bigger picture?

These questions are just as much directed to myself as they are to you.

But. (is that the best word in Scripture or what?) Don't let the former questions make you weary. Guess what?

There's hope for us.

Moses knows this too. I mean the guy has lead these wayward people for so long, he knows their tendencies. 
But he also knows who his God is. Who their God is.

After Moses predicts how they'll continue to forget, do evil, and turn away from God, he says this:

“But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him if you search after Him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey His voice. For the Lord Your God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that He swore to them.”

— Deuteronomy 4:29-31

Moses reminds them of God's character and the things that are true about Him, even when those same things aren't true about them. They are forgetful. God is not. They are faithless a lot of the time. He is faithful to bring about what He promised. They turn their backs. He will not leave them.

Even though this is a specific story that follows a specific journey of a specific people group, don't we have the same God? Doesn't He also promise us that He'll complete what He started in us? (Philippians 1:6) Hasn't He also shown us His unending mercy? (Eph. 2:4; Titus 3:5; 1 Peter 1:3) Doesn't He also promise us that He will never leave us? (Matt. 28:20; John 14:18). We are wayward, but He is faithful.

More and more reasons to keep singing his grace.

Join me on this journey in the following five weeks as I take you through some of the main points God has been teaching me while reading this book. It certainly won't be exhaustive, and I'd love to invite you to dive in with me and take note of some of the themes that jump out for you.

5 Ways to Spark Your Creativity

Something about me has been so antsy to create and write and start something new and exciting. Something life-giving. Something I love. Yes, antsy is the perfect word. The problem is I just don't know what that looks like quite yet. Like an itch that I'm trying to find so I can scratch it, you know? You know it's there, but you need to find it and then do something about it. 

I love when I'm able to take hold of moments of creativity, but oftentimes I'm distracted or unmotivated or just kind of - frozen. But when I do have these moments, I find myself thinking, "What would it look like to keep having moments like these? Moments to think, journal, and be creative. What must I change?"

So as I'm trying to explore this itch, calm the antsy-ness, and tap into the stirrings that have been in my heart for months now, I've come up with 5 ways that best help me do that. I figure I can't be the only one feeling this way, so I want to encourage you to pursue your creativity too!

1. Make Time & space For It

The same could be said for anything, right? You want to learn a new skill, you have a new relationship, you want to finish that book you started 5ever ago, etc etc. Time is your greatest resource. We make time for lots of things, even if they're mindless. That last half hour you spent swiping and tapping through people's instagram stories? [#same] You just made time for that instead of doing something more productive. The same goes for cultivating your creativity. It's a bit less mindless, so you have to consciously make the choice to do it. And in addition to time, you might also need to step away from everything else for a second in order to create the space to find those creative sparks.

2. Set Up Your Environment

Anyone who knows me well knowwwsss that I love me some ambiance. When those twinkle lights are on and those candles (because you can't just have one) are lit, all is right with the world. Put on your favorite chill playlist, clean up all of your clutter, and create a space for your creative juices. Sit down and paint, write, blog, knit, read, imagine, whatever it may be!

3. Cut Yourself Off From Technology

I need to force myself to be alone with my thoughts so the creativity can flow. Setting up your environment so you can dedicate time to your creativity doesn't do much when you then decide to take instagram pics of your space. The Airplane Mode on your phone can be your new best friend. Do Not Disturb? It does wonders. I also use an app on my laptop called SelfControl. Wow, so Galatians 5, right? When using this app you can enter a list of specific websites that you will not allow yourself to go to for an extended period of time. Then you set the amount of time (up to 12 hours). The best (or worst, but actually best) thing about this app is that it will not turn off during the time allotted, even if you delete the app or restart your computer.

4. Write Things Down!

Maybe you're in the middle of something, or you're daydreaming, and something pops into your head but you can't do anything about it at that moment. I'll either write that thing in my Notes app, or I'll jot it down in a notebook designated for these kinds of thoughts or ideas. I keep one or two small moleskin notebooks in my laptop bag or purse so I can reach for it quickly (you can get a three pack at Target for a good price!). Believe me, write it down - even if it's just a handful of key words - because you will forget otherwise. You'll be thankful when you can revisit that thought!

5. Be Patient, Not Perfectionistic

So much easier said than done! I call myself a recovering perfectionist, so I definitely don't nail this piece of advice. 

You were made on purpose and for a specific purpose (Eph. 2:10). What has been stifled in you that you need to let out? Or what have you yourself put off and made excuses for? What itch have you been ignoring? It's there for a reason. And it's worth doing these things to better figure out the unique ways God has gifted you + what ways He intends to use your creativity.

BONUS TIP: Get Outside

Weather permitting, of course. But I'll tell ya, sometimes when I need to take a break or clear my head, or just need a bit of a restart for creativity, it's amazing what taking a simple walk can do. I start thinking about my surroundings, sorting through brain fog, and find myself wishing I had my camera so I could take shots of the trees, sunshine, flowers, etc. It sparks something. So even though it can be so easy to stay on the couch because you're just not feeling motivated to create something, get up and get summa that Vitamin D & some good inspo.

For those who might not identify with being an "artsy" or "creative" type, I don't think you're excused from this topic! Let me leave you with these words:

“We may not all have the same skill or training as do the painters or the musicians, but we all bear the image of a creative God. ... perhaps we could say, then, that being an artist has something to do with being brave enough to move toward what makes you come alive. Art means believing that the God who created the world with words alone creates with words still, through us - whether it be on a stage to thousands or in a corner with one.
Maybe you make paintings, or maybe you make pie.
Maybe you live confidently in the midst of scary situations.
Maybe you are brave enough to listen, to wait, to trust.
Maybe you see potential in situations and in people that others aren’t able to see.
Art is what happens when you dare to be who you really are.”

— Emily P. Freeman, A Million Little Ways

25 Things in 25 Years

Today I turned 25. Excuse me, WHAT? 25 years that I've been on planet Earth. 300 months. 15,600 weeks. 109,200 days. WHAT?

 I'm trying to avoid my inevitable quarter life crisis so let's move on.

A couple years ago I made a post on my 23rd birthday and I included a number of things that I learned from that year. I love looking back on these old posts, so I figure it might be fun to make this a yearly thing. We'll see how it goes, since I'm not necessarily the most consistent with this stuff. But here we go --

25 things for the 25 years of life that I've spent on this earth.

1. I learned that it's super fun to take a solo road trip to New England. It's great to find a new appreciation for going on adventures on your own.
2. I learned more about how I work with some of the best people who've ever existed.
3. I learned truth behind the statement, "things that are worth it are hard".
4. I learned that you can't always confidently say "there's no chance of that happening".
5. I learned more about how God has redeemed/is redeeming my false beliefs.
6. I learned more about my personal capacity and the importance of what needs to be said "yes" to and what needs to be said "no" to [and I'm still learning that balance].
7. I learned that it's so critical to make time for my own creativity. God has crafted me in a specific way and I want to make the best use of the interests He's given me and the way He has wired me.
8. I learned the importance of remembrance -- a theme that has continued to come up in my life over the course of this year, and I get so excited when I discover more about what it means & how so many areas of life come back to that importance - specifically remembrance of the Gospel.
9. I learned that it's okay to revisit things that didn't work in the past and to not be afraid to revisit those things. 
10. I learned + realized just how much the Lord has answered my prayers for close girlfriends + deep friendships. If you're feeling isolated in the area of friendships, keep praying. They'll come. ♡
11. I learned that it's actually possible for me to take ideas + dreams out of my head, put pen to paper, and make things happen. + I look forward to how some of these ideas will play out! 
12. I learned to be less obsessive about weight + food and how unhealthy it was for me to constantly check for a number on the scale rather than simply eating intuitively based on what my body needs and using food for nutrients + fuel. [TBH, I'm no health + fitness guru like what you see on social media. Let's be honest, I ate a ton of toffee the other day. Buuuut I'm learning.]
13. I learned more about vulnerability, and how very good transparency is. The number of people who know absolutely everything there is to know about me has increased, and I've seen how God meets me as I'm honest + open about my brokenness.
14. I learned how to have a new appreciation for God's Word, and have been more diligent in my time spent with Him. I've seen more connections in the Truth it contains and get excited as I discover that it really is all one story pointing to Jesus. I've also gained more of a love to teach the Word.
15. I learned that sometimes success simply looks like obedience.
16. I learned new + specific ways that God is using my own story and own brokenness to work in the lives of others. Those things that I thought were pointless and had only brought heartache. Jesus is making beauty from ashes.
17. I learned how to find my voice - how to express thoughts, feelings, and opinions without the fear that they aren't valid.
18. I learned a newfound desire and passion to fight against the schemes of Hell. To caution against what is not of the Lord and remind people of the truth. I've uncovered more about the lies + wounds that have weighed me down for so long, and like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I'm fighting back.
19. I learned more about what actually matters in life. I can get so distracted with my own agendas and plans, but the truth still stands: God + His Word are eternal. People are eternal. And souls spend eternity somewhere. What am I doing about that?
20. I learned more about God's kindness and the way that He intricately orchestrates things.
21. I learned to pray more honestly, more vulnerably, and to trust the Lord with big things.
22. I learned more about what a privilege it is to be entrusted with the Gospel, the message of reconciliation, and what a gift it is to intimately know the God who saves souls - the God who is the ultimate Rescuer.
23. I've learned over and over what a joy it is to weekly meet with college women who desire to better know Christ. Women who faithfully come during busy afternoons or week nights with Bibles in hand, ready to learn. Not something you see every day from this age group. What a privilege.
24. I learned that I'm more in need of grace + healing than I ever thought. And that it's okay to cry over woundedness and willfully admit when things are not okay. And it's a very good thing to bring people in your life who are able to aid in bringing about healing.
25. I learned that what all older adults say is true. The older you get, the more you see the brokenness of the world. The more you see hardships. The more you realize how messed up people are. The more you experience pain from others' selfish choices. The more you realize the reality of what childhood seemed to shield you from. BUT. That doesn't mean all hope is lost. That doesn't mean I crumble down into despair. You can choose to live in naivety or ignorance as a way to protect yourself from hard things, and you can choose to let those hard things corrode your outlook. But what I'm learning is that you can accept the tension of having both: the mess & hardships and the joy & celebration. It's the hard times that make the good times sweeter and more beautiful. Childhood shielded me from the harsh reality of real life, and now I'm awake to those hard realities, but I've simultaneously experienced that Christ is my shield through them all. I can't avoid heartbreaking moments, but I have a God who walks with me through them, and Who reveals more of Himself through those moments. I learned more about what it means to "count it all joy".

There are many other things I could say. Many more reasons as to why I'm thankful for this 25th year. Many more ways to elaborate on the things I've listed here. But these are some of the main themes, and I'm thankful for the experiences that led to each of these points. Whaddya say, should I do this every year?!

Whatever is.. Popular Belief?

originally published on 07.20.17

Our world and culture are full of messages, especially in this social media, connected-at-all-times society. These messages tell us what to look like, who we should be, what we "need", what we should chase after, what our priorities should be, what identity means, etc. It's so in our faces that now, probably more than ever, it's crucial to cut the noise and get back to the truth.

One of my favorite parts of staffing the Summer Mission at Hampton Beach was Thursday nights. We staff and student ladies would have two hours together to study the Word, talk about specific topics on what our identity is as being made in God's image, and be led in experiential activities that helped further these spiritual truths.

My role during these nights involved taking video clips from pop culture and mass media for us to analyze - - messages that our minds are constantly taking in on a daily basis.

Our motivation for this was Philippians 4:8, where we're told what kind of things we should be thinking about.

Whatever is... Trendy? Relevant? Popular belief? What Hollywood says?

No. This is where cutting the noise comes in.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

How can we filter these messages the right way, instead of mindlessly allowing them to fill and shape our thoughts? How do we know what is true from what is a lie?

Marian Jordan Ellis, founder of Redeemed Girl Ministries, talks about these very things in one of her blog posts, assuring us that we can recognize when something is fake by knowing the truth. Immersing ourselves in God's word allows for true freedom.

"Our thoughts must be based upon truth, or we will be in big trouble. The reason? Our thoughts lead to our emotions, and our emotions lead to our actions. And when we are in the wilderness (i.e. rejection, loss, despair, etc.), it doesn’t take much to send a girl’s emotional state of being into full-blown-melt-down. We have to be so careful to notentertain the lies of the enemy and allow him to dictate our emotions and our actions. Determine, especially in wilderness seasons, to stand in truth. ... The word truth means 'that which has fidelity (conformity) to the original.' Meaning? There is a standard. Given that the word itself implies there is a measurement of what is 'true,' then it only makes sense that truth is not relative.

Then what is truth? God’s word is truth. Jesus said in his prayer for you and me before his death on the cross, 'Sanctify them [purify, consecrate, separate them for Yourself, make them holy] by the Truth; Your Word is Truth.' (John 17:17 Amplified Bible) Jesus teaches us that the Bible, God’s very word is the truth. So what’s my point? If my thoughts about myself or about my God differ with what God has spoken, then I am believing a lie."

This particular evening involved the girls cutting out images from magazines that had specific messages that speak to our desires: what "the ultimate goal" is in life, or what our homes should look like, what our bodies should look like, how big the rock on our finger should be, or what types of men we'd like to receive said rocks from.

It's important to note that there are a number of things in our culture that are lovely or praiseworthy because they provide ways to give God glory. For example, marriage is a great desire. We want a "happily ever after" because God designed us for relationship and community, but those good things can easily become the ultimate things, and suddenly we're putting our hope in what has become an idol.

The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is one thing in our culture that speaks to that desire. Yes, we know it's "not realistic" and it's "just entertaining TV," but why do we like those things so much? We have to be honest and admit that it speaks to a desire in our souls, to be fully loved and known. Again, those desires aren't bad, but our culture and media have ways of taking something true, pure, lovely, and commendable and warping it just enough so we think it's real when it's just a mock of the real thing. (Typical move for the Father of Lies!)

Taking care of our bodies is another commendable desire. We're called to be good stewards of what we've been given, and we want to honor the bodies that God has given. But the media screams at us about what the "perfect body" should be, what is desirable and what isn't, and before we know it we're so wrapped up in what is considered beautiful and not so much about health or honoring our bodies.

How do we combat the idols and lies? We immerse ourselves in the truth and remind ourselves of it.

This happened every week as we continued to look at clips from the media, like Beauty Advice from the Jenners & Kardashians, and this mushy, every-girl's-dream type proposal from a finale of The Bachelor (which resulted in a lot of strong, passionate feelings and great conversation!)

We took note of elements that were in fact true or lovely (marriage, two people seemingly committing their lives to each other, etc.) and the things that were lies or not in line with what we already know as true from Scripture (being fulfilled through another human being, idolizing relationships, having unrealistic expectations, etc.)

These lovely ladies will continue this practice through the remainder of Summer Mission. I'm missing being a part of these conversations with them, but I continue to trust that God is still working & guiding their conversation as they learn how to better filter out the sub-par, less-than-satisfying garbage that the culture throws at them, and replace it with the ultimate, never-failing truth of Scripture and who their Creator and Savior says they are.

Please join me in continuing to pray for these cherished young women as they dedicate their summers to allowing the Lord to form and mold them into the women who He has created them to be.

Praise God for His grace and His ability + desire to transform our hearts and minds, and His willingness to meet us in our brokenness and make us more like Jesus.

O Taste + See!

originally published on 07.07.17

If you've seen my last post, you know that part of my summer travels involved staffing a Cru Summer Mission to Hampton Beach, New Hampshire!

Every Wednesday morning, we staff ladies had a portion of the day to be rejuvenated by spending time with one another and getting to know each other better in the midst of our busy weeks. The community of women here has been such a gift!

What's another big gift from the Lord? Food. Amen. Praise hands.

A few weeks ago, our time together consisted of making some of our favorite quick dishes. Since it was such a special time for us, and my tastebuds certainly glorified the Lord through the whole experience, I figured it'd be fun to share those recipes here, along with some pictures!

They all only have a handful of ingredients + take minimal time! Enjoy!

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A M Y // 3 Ingredient Flourless Brownies

What you need:
3 medium, overripe bananas (approximately 1 cup or so)
1/2 cup smooth almond butter (can sub for any smooth nut butter)
2 T - 1/4 cup cocoa powder (more = richer taste) // Amy uses Hershey's Special Dark!

Instructions:
Preheat the oven the 350 degrees, grease a small cake pan or loaf pan and set aside.
In a small microwave-safe bowl or stovetop, melt your nut butter. In a large mixing bowl, add the banana, nut butter and cocoa powder and mix very well.
Pour the mixture into the greased pan and bake for around 20 minutes or until cooked through. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely before slicing into pieces.

Extra Pointers:
For a smoother batter, add all the ingredients into a blender and blend well. For the best texture, enjoy refrigerated.

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L I N D S E Y // Cinnamon Roll Pancakes
(+ cream cheese icing!)

What You Need:
bowls (2), griddle (or hot pan), whisk, spatula, cooking/measuring utensils
Pancakes //
Bisquick (or other pancake mix) and follow the recipe (for bisquick, I made the ultimate pancakes which required bisquick mix, milk, eggs, baking soda, vanilla, and vegetable oil)
1/4 cup (ish) dark brown sugar
2ish tbsp cinnamon
Cream Cheese Icing //
1 package cream cheese
1 lb powdered sugar
vanilla
salt pinch
milk as needed for consistency

Instructions:
For Pancakes -- Mix dry ingredients thoroughly before adding wet ingredients (thoroughly mixed separately)
Mix dry and wet ingredients until just combined; batter will be lumpy! Then spoon onto hot griddle. When they're ready to flip, you'll see bubbles coming through the pancake and the edges will look dry.
For Icing -- Whip cream cheese with a few tbsp milk with mixer. Add vanilla and salt, and add powdered sugar in increments (I didn't use the full pound, but most of it). For thinner icing, use more milk and be sure to refrigerate leftovers! For thicker icing (think cake icing) you can use 50/50 cream cheese and butter and start off with just a small amount of milk. Enjoy!!

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A L E X // Buffalo Chicken Dip

What You Need:
1 10-12oz can of chicken (or 12 oz shredded chicken)
1 8oz package of cream cheese
1/2 cup Frank's Red Hot hot sauce
1/2 cup hidden valley blue cheese dressing
1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350
Soften cream cheese and mix with chicken. Break chicken up if in chunks.
Mix in hot sauce, blue cheese, and a handful of the shredded cheddar.
Top dip with remaining cheddar cheese.
Bake at 350 for 20 min or until cheese is warm and bubbly.
Serve with tortilla chips or celery!

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K E R I // Bruschetta

What You Need:
(additional & important thought from Keri: Choosing ingredients here really does matter. With each substitution, you really will lose something.)
EVOO "product of Italy" (enough for drizzling)
1 TBS Balsamic Modena vinegar
3-5 of the freshest tomatoes you can find,diced
3-5 fresh basil leaves, minced
optional: chopped fresh garlic
day old baguette, sliced
pinch or two of sea salt

Instructions:
Lightly stir together tomatoes, vinegar, basil, and salt (optional chopped garlic). Set aside (up to one hour).
Toast the sliced bread lightly. You don't want a lot of color.
Drizzle toast with EVOO.
Top with a large spoonful of tomato mixture.
Sprinkle parmigiano-reggiano cheese on top.

This was one of our family favorites while living in Italy, and if you can access the authentic Italian ingredients here, it is one of the few dishes we can make that tastes just as good in America as it does abroad. Italy is known for its fresh food, which really does make the simplest of things explode with flavors!

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H E A T H E R // Oatmeal Balls

What You Need:
2 cups quick cooking oatmeal
1/2 cup chocolate chip
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/3 cup honey
1 banana
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp salt

Instructions:
Mix oatmeal, chocolate chips, and salt in a large bowl.
Add banana and mash it into the dry mix with a fork.
Add vanilla, peanut butter, and honey. Mix well.
Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Roll into balls.

*Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the final product, but luckily Heather has provided the link to where you can find this recipe and its nutritional info! Check it out here!

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K A R E N // BBQ Chicken Dip

Karen says this is a big crowd pleaser at any party she brings it to!

What You Need:
Wheat Thins
12 oz bar of cream cheese, softened
BBQ Sauce (Sweet Baby Ray's Honey BBQ, because SBR is obviously the best choice)
1/2 cup of chicken breast pieces (Karen uses Perdue original roasted short cuts)
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1/4 cup of green onions, chopped
Ranch dressing

Instructions:
Spread cream cheese on the bottom of a 9 inch glass pie dish.
Add a layer of BBQ sauce, spreading enough to cover al of the cream cheese.
Put bits of chicken evenly on top of the BBQ sauce.
Sprinkle red bell pepper on top.
Microwave for 2 minutes.
Sprinkle green onions on top.
Drizzle ranch dressing on top of everything.
Use Wheat Thins for dipping!

Guys, no lie, we all devoured this pretty quickly. The big crowd pleaser claim was no exaggeration.

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A I Y A N A // Maple Walnut Muffins

Aiyana's recipe probably took the most effort. And by most I mean least. BUT they were delicious and I'm still including it here for you all to feast your eyes.

The Hampton area has a quaint, family-owned place called Applecrest Farm where Aiyana picked up this yummy muffin mix. It's also critical to note that she took the recipe to the next level by adding **gourmet** chocolate chips (wooaaahh!). And don't forget the fact that you have to have a variation, so Yani made both regular size and mini muffins.

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K E L L Y // Fried Apples

What You Need:
Apples -- Kelly used 6 small pink lady apples but always switches up the amount or type that she uses. She does suggest using a less-sweet, more-crunchy apple.
Butter, brown sugar, cinnamon (all to taste, but you should have equal amounts of butter & brown sugar)
Oats

Instructions:
Cut up apples into thin slices.
Heat up butter in skillet on medium heat until melted.
Add apples, brown sugar, and cinnamon to skillet.
Cook until apples start getting soft. Stir throughout.
Add oats to skillet and cook until oats are soft and until desired softness for apples. Continue stirring throughout until you think they're done!

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J O C E L Y N // Mexican Dip or Salad

You guys are gonna have to bear with me on this one. My cooking style shows a lot about my personality, and if you're someone who likes to follow specific numbers when you're making food, this might be a little more difficult to follow.

BUT what I love about a recipe like this is you can basically do whatever you want with it.

What You Need:
Chicken -- you can use whatever kind you want. I made a salsa verde chicken recipe for dinner the night prior & used that, but you can use a rotisserie or whatever else!
1 15oz can of corn
1 15oz can of black beans (feel free to add any other types)
1/2 chopped onion (I used half of one of those pre-chopped containers you can buy at the store)
1 Lime
Cilantro (as much or as little as you want -- I've been obsessed with it recently)
1 Avocado
Tomatoes - I diced probably 6 or 7 cherry tomatoes because that's what I had on hand.

Instructions:
Basically you chop/dice/slice everything up and throw it all in a big bowl!
You can use as little or as much of any of these items, but I really like having a pretty even ratio.
You can either eat this with tortilla chips, or if you wanna be healthier, top it on a bed of greens! Or you can certainly scoop a spoon in the bowl and eat it as is!
If you're making this for a party, you could set out each ingredient buffet-style and have people choose what they want. Feel free to make it with or without the chicken!

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This day certainly brought Psalm 34:8 to life for us. Praise the Lord that He chose to make food such an enjoyable experience for us! Yes, good food makes me sing His grace.

Let me know if there are any of these that you'd like to try or have tried!

♡

My Only Constant

originally published on 05.13.17

Boxes everywhere. The house is disheveled. Packing for what seems like forever, and yet it seems like there's always more. More transitions. More change. New things are coming fast and right now there's a number of uncertainties.

For the most part, I'd say I'm someone who enjoys change. There are always hard changes that come up, yes, but for the most part I'm someone who gets excited about the future before being fearful about it. I love upcoming opportunities for adventure. (Sometimes to a fault because then it causes me to be bored with the present, but I digress. That's not the point here.)

I'm officially done with a full year of campus ministry in a new state with a new staff team, and I've had the time of my life. (cue Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes)

Now it's summer ("summer".. "summer".. #HSM2shoutout) and with that comes a bunch of travel. #NomadLife. I'll be road-tripping from Virginia to Pennsylvania, up to New Hampshire for six weeks, back to PA for a week or so, fly out to Colorado for a week, then back to PA & road-trip back down to Virginia.

One of the uncertainties of life is that I currently don't know where I'll be living once I get back from all the crazy travel. So.. that's a thing. Also, what's in store for this summer? How is God going to use the Summer Mission I'll be staffing in NH? Which students will I get to pour into? What will they be like? What will my routine look like while I'm traveling all over God's green earth? Did I forget anything when I packed all of my other belongings away?

With all of this in mind, something I'm thankful for amidst of all the change is God's constancy. I've been working my way through Jen Wilkin's None Like Him, which is saturated with great truth from Scripture about 10 attributes of God - attributes that are only true of Him.

In the chapter on God's immutability, Jen talks about how we can't truthfully use words like "always" or "never" to describe ourselves or other people. That hit me harrrrd, especially being someone who finds it difficult to be consistent or disciplined in what seem to be the simplest of things.

"When we apply the terms always or never to other people, we speak an untruth. Human beings don't always or never anything. We just aren't that consistent. We frequently, we fairly regularly, we often or habitually, but we do not always or never. As finite and mutable creatures, we cannot lay claim to these terms, either as pejoratives or as praise. They can only truly be spoken of God."

Like I said, this really hit home and made me have those thoughts of "oh man, that's true. I'm not consistent. I can't be perfectly disciplined like I'd like to be." That could be kind of a downer. But at the same time it freed me up to shift my glance off of myself and onto a God who is perfectly consistent.

I can use "always" and "never" when it comes to God.

He always comes through, even if the timing is different than what I'd like.
He never loses His faithfulness. He never changes. He's always the same.
He always delivers. Always restores. Never stops pursuing the broken.
His character is consistent. Always reliable.

How refreshing is that? To know that in whatever stage of my life, whatever circumstance, I can say that God is loving, faithful, steadfast, etc., and those statements will always be true.

Jen also quotes Psalm 18:31 in this chapter:
"For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God?"

This reference made me think of the song "Rest in You" from All Sons and Daughters' Poets & Saints album (highly recommend). The song begins with lyrics derived from this verse. ( take a listen here & meditate on its truth! )

The bridge of the song repeats the line "You cannot change, yet you change everything." This line plays over and over in my earbuds as I think about God's immutability and my heart reflects, "this is so true." God does not change, yet He has changed my whole life. My whole identity. My whole eternity.

The next verse in Psalm 18 says, "...the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights." (it goes on from there - read it for yourself! pray through it. journal through it.)

I can not only trust in the consistency of God in the middle of my ever-changing life & daily circumstances, I can also trust that the change that He's made (and continues to make) in my life is certain, and my position in Him is secure and protected.

I'll leave you with this last thought from Jen:

"Because He does not change, we can rely on the unchanging truth of Scripture. What He pronounces as sin will always be sin. What He pronounces as good will always be good. All that He has promised to do must come to pass. The Gospel itself is bound up in the idea of God's immutability. We fervently need God to stay the same - our great hope of salvation lies in His remaining exactly as who He says He is, doing exactly what He says He will do. As long as His infinite sameness endures, He will not change His mind about setting His love on us. We can not commit a future sin that will change His verdict, because His verdict was passed with every sin past, present, and future fixed in view. Whom God pronounces righteous will always be righteous. Nothing we could do can remove from us the seal of His promised redemption. Nothing can separate us from the unfailing, unchanging love of this great God, the Rock of our salvation upon which the house of our faith is built."

Are you experiencing some sort of big, or even small, transition? Rest in these truths. Rest in Him.

That Time I Left Social Media for a Week

originally published on 11.05.16

I started to become increasingly aware of how social media is SUCH a huge part of my life, especially now that I also run/contribute to multiple social media platforms for ministry.

There's always a notification popping up for some reason. Comments, mentions, likes, snaps, new followers, new video uploads, yada yada yada. Isn't it all just too much, when you really think about it?

I began to feel this longing to connect with the Lord more. I was already doing that, sure. But was it the kind of quality (and quantity, let's be honest) that would be really good for me? I don't think so. There was this repeating thought in my mind of, "If I want to connect with the Lord more, I have to disconnect from everything else." And honestly, the part of me who genuinely enjoys social media had the feeling of "Would I really have to?" But I knew it could only benefit me, so that truth had a stronger influence on my decision.

How would I do this practically? What started out as an idea to dedicate specific hours during certain days of the week as my time to disconnect pretty quickly turned into a desire to take this seriously. One week. Cold turkey. So that's what I did. On a Tuesday evening, I officially signed out of all accounts and completely went off the radar.

A week later, I won't say I now have the absolute greatest pieces of wisdom and advice on this. A week really is not as long as we may think/feel like it is {seriously guys, anyone can do this!} But I did learn a handful of things.

My initial thoughts? Right as I first signed out of everything, I would say I felt a bit more.. free? I found myself thinking "wow, I don't even have to check anything right now!" while simultaneously telling myself, "you never had to in the first place, ya dummy."

Throughout the rest of the week, I will say I had to deal with some slight FOMO, especially when others would say "did you see what so-and-so poste-" and then quickly realize, "ohhh right, you're not on social media right now.." #awk. So it was a bit odd to want to have intentional conversations with others, but yet not be able to participate if it was related to something happening online.

I love the creative aspect of social media, but time away from it forced me into finding other creative outlets - and moments for that were actually provided! I got to read, write, paint, and even transform my & my roomie's faces into 70-year-old versions of ourselves for Halloween.

I also realized that I had to learn to deal with silence. {It isn't really something I prefer. I'm the person in the car who asks if we can turn the radio on/up because it's just a bit too quiet.} Instead of coming home for lunch or in the evening and watching a couple youtube videos (or 10), I sat in silence and read a book. And guess what? It wasn't that bad.

That brings me to another big thing. I read. A lot. At times I couldn't help but think "hm, so this is what people had to do for entertainment back in the day..." (And all of the non-millennials let out a unified groan.) But for real though, I do genuinely enjoy reading, but it was insightful to realize just how much I would reflexively go to tap on an app without a second thought, and have to consciously choose to read instead.

Sometimes it's good to be left alone with our own thoughts. Maybe we use social media to avoid that.

Maybe that "maybe" is more of a definite.

We seem to have to be entertained and stimulated in some form at all times. I've realized that sometimes I just don't feel like putting the mental or emotional energy into diving into my own brain. Admittedly, social media enters the picture as an easy way out of that.

"Unfortunately, the outbreak of technology and social media has not simplified life, but rather complicated it to the point of fatigue. It is becoming harder and harder to remain focused on any level of cognitive thinking for longer than a few minutes ... In this culture we are finding it harder and harder to spend any appreciable time meditating on who God is or developing a greater depth of understanding and appreciation of God."

- Glenn Jago, Deeply Rooted Magazine

Being away from social media allowed me to be more introspective, way more introspective than I would have been had I spent time watching videos and double-tapping instas.

It also coincidentally seemed like every book/magazine I dove into had something to say specifically related to this fasting experience, as if the Lord used these wise, Jesus-loving authors to help me evaluate my life during this week-long dare that I challenged myself to. What a gift.

So have I concluded that social media is this evil thing that is stealing my time? Of course not. Social media isn't evil. I wouldn't even say it's bad. It's a great tool for staying connected and expressing creativity, and it can be used for fantastic things! But is it the best way to spend my time? Ehhhh, no, not always. Another great magazine I found myself drowned in talked about the difference between good and better things:

"Did you know there are good things, and then there are better things? I didn't always know this. I knew there were good things, and there were bad things. I knew that there were things that the Bible called sinful. And to spend my time gossiping or being lazy or something like that is not only a waste of time but displeasing to the Lord. We all know this. But then there are things that are just good. They are not sinful or even questionable. Often times, the good things are necessary and important, and they're things like having a clean house, doing the laundry, tackling home improvement projects, being in a book club, or even taking a break and watching TV. There is nothing condemnable about them, but there is nothing eternal about them either. The things that are eternal are the things that are best. And there are three categories for things that will last for the rest of time: God, God's Word, and the souls of people."

- Abbie Schaller, Tapestry Magazine

My life has been given to me to utilize it in (hopefully) the best way. With social media, how much of me is being utilized? My thumbs, for sure. So that's covered. But what about the rest? Technology savvy or not, anyone can post an instagram or send a snap or post a status. What about the specific ways that God has gifted me? The things that make me distinct from everyone else. How are those things being used and cultivated?

I don't find my worth in social media & instagram likes. But is it an addiction for me? I'm not sure, because I think if that were the case, this fast would have been a whole lot harder than it was, and it turned out to be easier than I thought it would be. But I do turn to it anytime I have a moment to waste, or even when I don't. Is it a type of drug for me?

In her book Present Over Perfect - yes, the fourth piece of writing I've drowned myself in this week - Shauna Niequist says,

"You can make a drug - a way to anesthetize yourself - out of anything: working out, binge-watching TV, working, having sex, shopping, volunteering, cleaning, dieting. Any of those things can keep you from feeling pain for a while - that's what drugs do. And, used like a drug, over time, shopping or TV or work or whatever will make you less and less able to connect to the things that matter, like your own heart and the people you love. That's another thing drugs do: they isolate you."

Maybe social media isn't even a problem for you. Or maybe you would say it's a problem and you couldn't fathom signing out of your accounts for a single day. Whatever it is, what is your good but temporary thing? How are you spending time? Even free time?

If you find yourself being similar to me in this area, or you want to do this for yourself just to see what would come from it, I encourage and even challenge you to do it! Maybe it's just for a day, maybe for a week, or maybe you want to get real crazy and go off the radar for a month. Come up with a time frame, and just commit to it.

If it helps, bring others around you in this! Maybe a friend or two can do the same thing. Even if they don't, though, I'd encourage telling a few close friends what you've decided - and giving them permission to call you out if you don't stay committed!

Again, social media isn't sinful. I'm still a huge fan! And you'll still see me on just about every platform. But my perspective is different. Sometimes you have to step back from the good-but-temporary for an amount of time to allow yourself to see where your perspective should be. Other times it does mean stepping back altogether. It's a case-by-case thing, and taking at least a little time to step back can allow you to discern where you're at.

Since I'd love to keep this perspective fresh in my mind as much as possible, there are a few practical things I have implemented since my week-long fast. Feel free to ask about them!

If you're thinking through something like this for yourself, let this last quote encourage you, and perhaps even help you decide:

"The perishable, temporary, good things will burn away. All those dishes I cleaned? Burned. All those hours I watched Downton Abbey? Gone. All the time I spent cultivating the perfect yard, the perfect house, the perfect body? Yep, burned and gone forever. BUT all those small moments spent on eternal things? Rewarded. Those moments I spent worshipping God with my mouth, with my prayers, and with my work? Rewarded. The hours spent reading Scripture and in Bible study with other women? Praise. The chapters from the Jesus Story Book Bible I read and reread and read again to my boys at bedtime? Glory. The times I stopped to snuggle or cherish or meet a need for my boys? Rewarded. The risks taken to broach spiritual topics with my neighbors? Rewarded."

- Abbie Schaller, Tapestry Magazine

I would personally love to hear about anything you'd like to challenge yourself to do, and what came from it if you decide to do so!

Praise God for moments of silence, for moments of reflection, and His ability to refresh or completely change our perspectives when we make ourselves susceptible. More reasons to sing His grace.