Creamy lemon dill chicken soup!

I’ve probably made this a dozen times so far. It’s such an easy go-to. An easy dinner, an easy choice for a meal train, and so cozy! Making a blog post gives me a convenient way to send people a quick link when they’ve asked — which they have, because I rave about it.

So similar to my no-knead bread recipe, I’m making this easier for myself by making a quick link!

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the ingredients

• 1lb chicken breast(s) - honestly, the lazy girl way is to just get a rotisserie, which I am not above.

• Carrots & Celery - I use equal amounts of both, probably 3 or 4 large carrots/celery stalks each

• 2 or 3 cloves of minced garlic

• 3 or 4 scallions - I often don’t have these on hand and the recipe is still fine without!

• A lemon

• Dill - I’ll use all of what you get in the pack from the grocery store, but you could do it to taste.

• 1 Cup of pearled couscous - MUST be pearled! I get mine from Trader Joe’s or amazon.

• Chicken broth- I like to use bone broth for more protein!

• 5 or so tablespoons of sour cream or greek yogurt

• Salt & pepper

the instructions

• Cook and shred your chicken (or just shred if you got the lazy gal rotisserie).

• Prepare the goods — Peel, trim, and halve carrot lengthwise & slice. Chop celery. Trim and slice scallions, separating greens from whites. Zest lemon. Pick off fronds from dill and finely chop.

• Heat drizzle of olive oil in a pot over medium-high heat. Add carrot, celery, and big pinch of salt and pepper. Cook until veggies are lightly browned and softened. Add garlic & scallion whites and cook (about 1 min).

• Stir in about 4-5 cups of chicken broth (I always eyeball) and add the couscous. Cover and bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a low simmer and let couscous cook until tender (about 7 mins).

• Add in the shredded chicken and remove the pot from the heat. Stir in scallion greens, sour cream (or greek yogurt), lemon zest, lemon juice, dill, and season with more salt and pepper if needed.

a quick note

You may notice that my ingredient amounts feel kinda “I dunno, do what you want” and I agree. I’ll follow a recipe the first time (usually) and then as I make things again, I’ll adjust based on what I want - going by looks, taste, and desire for an even ratio - so I expect (and recommend) others do the same. I like a pretty even and ratio of everything in soup, but you might want to do more of the veggies and less couscous, or vise versa. I’m also aaaalways making enough for plenty of leftovers. You’ll want them.

What I wish people knew, and what your friend walking through a deployment might need.

It’s been almost a year (355 days, if we’d like to be precise) since I’ve seen him outside of my phone screen. And at times, even those moments were few and far between. I’m so excited (and can’t believe) that we’re almost done!

This year hasn’t been the easiest in many ways, but one of the biggest things has been walking through a year-long deployment for the first time. Both of us are new to this!

As I’ve documented each month’s milestone on my instagram stories, I made mention in one of them that there are things I’ve been processing and have been trying to find the most appropriate words to communicate them. And as we near the end of this season, the hard parts sting a little less, and I feel like I have more of the words to say. And as a good rule of thumb, it’s kind of a good idea to not post on social media when emotions are high, yaknow? ;)

There are just some things I wish people knew. For someone going through this, there are certain things to avoid saying.

With that said, I want to be clear of my intentions. I don’t want to come at anyone’s throat. My desire isn’t to be harsh. My aim is to be gracious. I just want to share some of the process vulnerably. I’ve regularly done that on social media (and here) over the years, and I’m not sure why I’ve seen this as any different. It might be because the atmosphere of online spaces has changed - there’s always some level of worry of saying the wrong thing.

Another caveat is that I know this isn’t unique to me. And it’s not even unique to a deployment scenario. For anyone going through a difficult time, there’s inevitably a slew of unhelpful things people can say. For example, I’ve talked about this for years in the area of singleness and the comments said toward single people that simply aren’t helpful (that’s another convo). The same is true for someone dealing with sickness, a loss, infertility, etc.
And more often than not, unhelpful comments come from people who are well meaning. I’m very aware that almost 100% of the time, people either have no idea what to say, or they’re innocently ignorant simply because they don’t know. I understand — it’s really hard to know how to respond to someone who has any level of grief.

There’s one unhelpful comment in particular that I want to respond to:

Deployment is not the same as a long-distance relationship.

When someone finds out that Jonathan is deployed, or after I’ve shared something about how tough it’s been, I’ve received the “Oh yeah, I’ve done long distance too.”

And again, this has never been said to me in a dismissive way, or with a tone that communicates that I should get over it. It always comes across in a caring attempt to relate. A way to say, “me too. I get it.” But it’s not the same. Yet it feels rude in that moment for me to say, “Ehhh no, you don’t get it, actually.”

I completely understand why the comparison is made. It doesn’t take much to conclude that, yes, the military person is at a distance. Gone is gone, and that’s always hard. Even a standard long distance relationship will have its difficulties (I’ve experienced them in the past).

I want to shed some light on why it’s not the same:

— In a typical LDR, you can visit each other. Yes, it’s inconvenient oftentimes, and you would do anything to have that person in your space and easily accessible. That’s not an option for us. (I know this depends on where the person is deployed, because you can also be on a deployment within the U.S., but even then, you’re probably not seeing that person.) In this year-long circumstance, Jonathan will not be coming home. I will not be going where he is. Even if an LDR happens in different parts of the world, there is still the option to visit each other.

— While LDRs are challenging, there is the benefit of them providing the opportunity to really strengthen communication skills. That’s undeniable! When communication is all you have, it makes sense that the extent of your emotional depth is expedited compared to other couples. But very often, we could go weeks without video chatting. Some days were one simple text back and forth. Yes, communication is all we have, but sometimes even that’s not an option.

— I can’t speak for all LDRs, but I feel pretty confident in saying that in most cases, neither person’s life is in danger. I think that’s one of the biggest things that makes the comment sting a bit more. The deployed service member may be in a location where their life is at risk. If the person back home doesn’t hear from them for days, does that mean something terrible has happened? In some areas, there’s always that chance. And again, I can’t speak for all deployments either. Some service members go to very safe places. But I can tell you that this wasn’t the case for Jonathan. When the person you love is exposed to regular enemy attacks, the comparison to a long distance relationship really falls flat.

Now, I’m not going to leave you high and dry here. My other desire is to help others come alongside military spouses/SOs and/or families in a way that is helpful. Because this is hard.

There are many things that ARE helpful to say to someone in my situation:

“How are you doing?”
I understand that sometimes this may not seem like it’s adequate enough, but it is. Even if I’m not doing well on a particular day, the question makes me feel seen in a situation that has felt really isolating because I don’t know anyone else facing it for the first time, and while engaged!

“How is Jonathan doing?” / “I/we have been praying for him/you both".”
I can’t tell you how much it warms my heart. Though I may feel unseen, I’m carrying on with life in my regular circles of people, literally being seen by them. When someone asks about my person who is quite literally very unseen, it reminds me that he’s being thought of by others, too. Obviously I’m thinking about him every day, but it means the world to know that others want to know about him too. And again, even if he’s not doing well (which he wasn’t at various points), I got to share that with people and ask them to pray.

“Did you get to talk to him this week?”
A simple check-in like this is helpful! Maybe I did, and I can tell you about it. Maybe I haven’t talked to him for a while and it’s been really challenging, and this question allows me to vent or process. I’ve had people tell me that sometimes they don’t know what to say. They don’t want to bring him up out of fear that it will make me miss him more or make me more sad. Don’t worry about that! I’m going to be missing him regardless of what you do or don’t say

“Only X amount of months until he’s back!”
I have so loved feeling spurred on by people reminding me of different check points. While I’m the one facing the months of loneliness and challenge, it gives me an extra boost to be reminded that other people are aware of the timeline, are in our corner, and are cheering us on as we await the finish line!

“You’re doing a great job.”
Obvious reasons. Sometimes I feel like I’m not. Also, this is a much helpful comment than “I could never do that.” The sentiment may be the same, but honestly, there’s nothing powerful about me that makes me exceptional or built for this. I am being built as it goes on. You just do it. So to have someone acknowledge the difficulty and give a simple encouragement means a ton!

I’ve tried to keep these comments fairly general, but also know that things are different for each person. But it will never hurt to simply ask them what kind of questions or comments would be encouraging!

Thanks for reading my words. Ones that have been on my heart for a while. There’s grace for the unhelpful comments. And there’s grace for the one walking through a deployment. God’s grace is sufficient for all of it!

ps — stay tuned for a very joyful homecoming, sooner than you think. :) :)

favorite SIMPLE bread recipe (no knead)

Yes, I did join the ranks of the 2020 bread-making club. Anyone who’s anyone made bread last year. I can’t say I’ve attempted a sourdough yet (so I probably shouldn’t consider myself to be a part of any sort of revered bread club), but I go have a go-to that, as the kids say, really slaps.

I definitely can’t take credit for this recipe, but it’s been my MVP.
I got it from It’s Always Autumn. So I’m giving credit where credit is due, but I’m also doing you a kindness because who wants a billion ads to come up along with a whole novel-length backstory for a recipe when all you want is the dang recipe?! No one. Zero people. So you can come to this simple blog where there are zero ads because this gal is getting no cash money.

Okay, here you have it. No back story. My go-to bread recipe.

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ingredients:

⋒ 3 cups of flour
⋒ tsp of salt
⋒ 1/2 tsp of yeast
⋒ 1.5 cups of warm water (I make mine as warm as it can be while being comfortable to touch)

put ‘em all in a bowl —

It’s gonna look shambly. You’re gonna wanna mix it some more. But mix it just enough that everything is well combined (I’ll mix the dry ingredients together before adding the water), cover the bowl with plastic wrap and leave it. You’re done. Let it set for 8-24 hours.

the most work you’ll do —

By the time you come back to it, it will be kind of bubbly and will have risen a good bit (unless you’re doing gluten free, which we’ll get to).

On a well-floured surface, dump it out and bring in each “corner” into the center and flip it over into a dough ball. You’ll need a good bit of flour on the surface, on your hands, and feel free to sprinkle some on the dough too — it’ll be really sticky.

This is also the time where you could also sprinkle something (like rosemary) in the dough before you “fold in” each corner. I’ve recently started doing this, or you can just sprinkle an herb or some everything-but-the-bagel seasoning on the top of the dough ball.

Let it sit for 30 minutes. During this time you’ll preheat your oven to 450°F.

I personally don’t have a dutch oven for baking bread, but a cool hack you can do is take out the removable part of your crockpot and bake your bread in there! I’ll put it in the oven as it’s preheating. Apparently it helps to avoid cracking. Mine has always been fine!

After pre-heating & the 30 mins is up, score the bread with a serrated knfie (make an X, or do something fancy — your choice). Spray your crock pot or dutch oven and flour your hands again to transport your lil bread baby into it!

You’ll want to cover it with aluminum foil for 30 mins and then remove the foil for an additional 10-15 mins.

Badabing badaboom. Looks like you slaved over this beauty when it only took you a collective 5 minutes. Work smarter not harder, amiright?

PS —

◡ A few people have tagged me on instagram to show me the result of their own loaf after I’ve sent them this recipe. If you would be so kind, I’d love to see your pics :) :)

◡ Also! I’ve done the same exact recipe using gluten free flour. It won’t rise at all, and turns out to be a lot more dense, but it’s equally as delicious! Praise be.

favorite books of 2020

photo cred: jonathan howard kemp

I’m ashamed to say I didn’t read as many books as I would’ve liked to this year, especially given all of the “down time” that lil miss pandemic gave us. I did have a lot of reading to do for a couple seminary classes over the summer, and definitely started some other books, but I couldn’t quite manage to be as regular in the reading department as I knew I could be.

Normally I would’ve been able to give a number of solid recommendations by pulling from the at-least-5-at-one-time books I was reading. But I’ve learned to have grace as I reflect on that fact, because it was just that my brain was expending energy in a way that it wasn’t previously used to. And that’s okay.

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A quick note:

Speaking of brain power, this article about how covid and culture shock feel the same to your brain was actually really useful in helping me navigate why the simplest of things - like reading books - seemed to take up so much energy that I couldn’t seem to expend. Reading lots of books in 2020 was totally doable, again, especially with the lack of go-go-go that this year offered. (I even know someone who read nearly 3 dozen books this year. Three dozen.) But the books I tend to choose are quite the thinkers, not the kind you can escape into, and I think that’s why I couldn’t seem to do it as well as I could before. That article gives a lot of interesting insight!

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Anyway, no need to lolligag. Here are just five of my favorite you-must-read-these books from 2020 (in the order in which I read them). They’ve each shaped my life in big ways in 2020!

 

Get Out of Your Head - Jennie Allen

This book came out at the beginning of 2020 and boy was it timely for the year we had, as we fought all sorts of toxic thoughts and anxieties. But even pre-pandemic, it’s timely for our culture as a whole. Using both Scripture and scientific research, Jennie Allen talks about the battle of our minds, of spiritual warfare, and how we have a choice in the matter. We have the ability and the tools needed to fight back. She helps to uncover ways that we’ve been believing false things that affect our behavior & also gives practical ways to overcome them. This is not your classic new age, manifestation, positive-thinking, wishy-washy, can-only-go-so-far self help book. Trust me. It’s saturated in Scripture, and the truth of Scripture is confirmed over and over as Jennie incorporates proven scientific research that affirms what the Bible has been saying all along. We have a choice. We must fight back, and we can. We can destroy lofty arguments and strongholds & make our thoughts obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5-7). This book got me so hyped. I dare you to keep track of how many times it makes you wanna stand up from your chair/bed/wherever you are and run a lap around your home. Not that I did that.

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Doubtless: because faith is hard - SHelby Abbott

This one is particularly special and personal to me because my friend Shelby Abbott allowed me to read this book about five months before it even came out. I talked in my 28 Things post about how I had my first real (& kind of scary) wrestle with doubt this past year. As the Lord would have it, Shelby was finishing up his book on this very topic. I devoured it in one sitting. It might’ve even made me a little teary. Doubt can be a scary thing. It can cause questions of “is this even okay?” or “am I losing my faith?” and many others. Shelby’s words, rooted in Scripture, were a balm to my soul in the midst of the wrestle. I knew I needed to bring other people into it. I needed to cling to tangible truth when my feelings were saying something different. And even though I was asking the question of “what if this thing that I’ve given my entire life to is all fake?”, it was a comfort to know that there was space to ask questions, space to doubt, and tangible and valid reasons to keep on trusting in the One who is the object of my faith. Doubt isn’t the absence of faith. It doesn’t have to lead to a complete resignation of everything you believe. Doubt presents an opportunity for faith to get some real bones & be strengthened. It’s normal, it’s all throughout Scripture, some of the biggest heroes of the faith had doubts, & it would do some good to spend more time talking about that.

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Delighting in the Trinity - Michael Reeves

I think every Christian should read this book. Okay. I think every Christian should read all of these books. But out of all of these topics, I think the Trinity would be the one most people would bypass. The Trinity is a bit of a weighty concept, and we can’t fully wrap our minds around it, nor are we supposed to be able to. But so often, Christians dismiss talking about or diving into more about the Trinity because “we just can’t understand it”. What I really appreciated about Reeves’ writing is that it points out that we do know the Trinity. There’s proof in the songs we sing, what we say we believe, and proof after proof in the Scriptures we read. What we say we believe doesn’t work without a Triune God. The Gospel doesn’t work without a Triune God. The other thing I love is that, given such a complex topic, the book is fairly short and easy to read. I had to read it for a seminary class, but it’s not at all overly academic. I was in tears before I even got through the introduction, and I also laughed out loud at how Reeves communicated certain things. (I later found out he’s from the UK and thought oh, no wonder.) Doctrine matters. Theology matters. Get a hold of this book to spruce those up in your life.

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The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry - John Mark Comer

We certainly learn a lot of theology and ethics from looking at the life of Jesus and how He interacted with people in the Gospels, but John Mark Comer specifically focuses on how very unhurried and unbothered Jesus is - something I hadn’t really zoomed in on previously. Jesus was busy, for sure, yet never hurried. No one was a nuisance to Him. This book also looks at the spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude, and incorporating a weekly Sabbath. For real, why don’t Christians incorporate an actual Sabbath? Similarly to what Jennie Allen did, Comer also looks at different statistics and scientific research to further the fact that we need to slow down and that something needs to change. So many things that we have in our culture that were designed to make them better are actually making our brains worse. We all know it. We all feel it. I was really convicted by this book and really appreciated the practical application throughout. John Mark also writes in a way that is super casual and feels like you’re just sitting down to talk to him. Full disclosure, I still need to get into a better habit of having a weekly Sabbath, and I think this will definitely be one of those books that I revisit to get some fire under me for why that’s so critical.

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Gentle and Lowly - Dane Ortlund

This is another one that incredibly shaped my view of Jesus & His heart, because it expands on the one statement Jesus explicitly says about His very heart: that He is gentle and lowly. If you’ve known Jesus or a while or are familiar with Christianity, you’ve likely heard these famous words from Matthew 11:28-30, where Jesus invites those who are weary and heavy laden to come to Him for rest. And I knew that I could go to Him for rest - a rest that is a rest for my soul, not one that necessarily eliminates my hard circumstances. That truth is good on its own, but diving into the actual heart of Christ took it to a new level. This hasn’t been a book that has been quick for me to read through, because I found myself with each chapter going to my Bible to take a look for myself at the things Ortlund brought up in each chapter. I needed to take each thing and meditate on it, allowing the Holy Spirit to reshape the areas where I wasn’t trusting, didn’t believe, or simply just didn’t previously see the truths that are so critical about the heart of Christ and therefore God Himself. One of the main things Satan is always going to want us to question (coming full circle from Get Out of Your Head) is the character of God, which is why it’s vital to have a correct view of who He is. Please get your hands on this. I recently was in a conversation (srsly I talk about this book any chance I get) with someone who has also read it. I remarked that it was one of the best books I’ve read all year, and he responded that it’s the best he’s read in the last twenty. So that’s a pretty big deal.

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You can click on any of the images to direct you to amazon so you can get ‘em in your cart!

If you’ve read any of these or have a rec that I should try out for 2021, drop a comment!

28 Things in 28 Years

Here we are again. We’ve made it. We’re almost through one of the hardest and weirdest and ~most unprecedented ~ (gag) years of our lives. (If I hear that word one more time..)

I remember this time last year and looking ahead to 2020 and just wanting/asking the Lord for “newness”. I thought that was pretty cliché at the time but it was the word on my mind around the time of my birthday. I even wrote: ‘Newness’ keeps popping into my head lately. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what it’ll bring. I’ve even thought about changing it to something ‘better’. But honestly, now I think it’s good.” HA. Let’s do a collective LOL.

Didn’t we all experience “newness” in 2020 or what? Far more than any of us would have ever — like ever — asked for. But let me tell you what’s very true: Each year that I’ve done this post, it has caused me to truly reflect on the goodness and faithfulness of God, and guess what? Even this year, it’s still true. In one of the seemingly crappiest, can’t-make-this-stuff-up, are-you-kidding-me type of year, He’s still good and faithful. In general, yes. But more specifically, in my life. That’s the whole point of why I’m here to do this year after year.

28 things in 28 years

1 — I learned (shortly after my last birthday, and in a pretty big way) to begin to face my fear of the opinions & perceptions of others. That had been something I was thinking more about in 2019 (#13 on last year’s list) and I wanted to begin to truly surrender it. Well, getting the chance to emcee a NYE conference of about 1,200 people certainly gives the opportunity for those fears to be center stage & right up there in your face. I had to face the question of will I choose to just be fully, authentically, and unapologetically myself? I honestly think I did. And I had a blast. (more on that later because I do plan on making a vlog from it - yes, a year later).

2 — The start of 2020 came with me learning to think more seriously about spiritual warfare. Yeah, real cute & fun. I don’t know what it was, but I felt the need to be more on my guard & to not be asleep to the reality that we as believers do have a very real Enemy. I started listening to systematic theology podcasts on it, and this was also around the time when Jennie Allen’s book, Get Out of Your Head, came out. So I was immersing myself on how to stand firm & fight back, and learning how very critical it is in the life of a Christian.

3 — I learned that it’s far more than okay to doubt. “Oddly” enough, shortly after this strong desire of taking spiritual warfare more seriously, I had my first real experience of questioning my faith. Like, in a scary kind of way. And honestly, it was completely aside from all the talk about spiritual warfare. It’s not like that led me to doubt. Do I think it was a coincidence though? Was it just happenstance that as soon as I started to take more seriously my fight against the schemes of the devil, he decided to pull a wild card that resulted in what I think was a big spiritual attack on my life? Not a chance. But let me tell you, there’s a lot of grace in the doubting. A lot of comfort is available. I could talk more at length on this, but for now, if you’re someone who has been/is going through doubting your faith: 1. It’s normal. This actually allows for your faith to grow; it’s not the same as unbelief and it doesn’t have to result in an absence of faith. And 2. Please tell someone. In any situation, whether doubt or another struggle, isolation is never beneficial. Tell your people. It was one of the first things I did in order to get it out into the light and to invite others to be in this wrestle with me. It was one of the best things I could have done. Also my friend Shelby Abbott kindly allowed me to read his book DoubtLess a handful of months before it even came out. If you or someone you know is wrestling with doubt, it would be a true gift to you/them. (I also interviewed Shelby on this topic here.)

4 — Being in that season of doubt caused me to learn to meditate on the truth that it is God who is my keeper. This Christian life is not so much about the amount of faith we have (Scripture says that a mustard seed’s worth is all that’s necessary) but rather what (or Who in this case) is the object of our faith. Even when I have a weak faith, I have a strong Christ. He is whom my faith is in, and He’s a firm and reliable source for that. He is my keeper and sustainer. (The book of Jude has been a great source of encouragement in this.)

5 — I learned more about the character of Christ. I could cover many things here, but one of the main things that has allowed me to do that has been the book Gentle & Lowly. He is good and kind. He presses into the sinful and messy parts of who we are; He is drawn there. A lot of the other things I cover in this post also have a lot to do with what I’ve learned about His character, but that book is definitely one to check out. Having a corrected (or at least more corrected than before) perspective on who Jesus is, & therefore who God is, truly transforms just about everything.

6 — I learned (in big ways, hello 2020) about shifting my eyes more quickly away from my circumstances and onto a God who is caring and sovereign. One of the things that helped with that was listening to many sermons from McLean Bible throughout this year, especially when attending church in person wasn’t an option. I learned so much from this preaching as I sat by myself on my couch on Sunday mornings and the way these leaders responded to each and every thing that happened this year. As the not-sovereign, not-in-control, and not-all-knowing one, I also learned to let go of my plans and my way in a lot of circumstances. This year has really woken us up to the fact that we are not in control. We never were, but this year brought an increased awareness of that truth.

7 — I learned how to incorporate a Sabbath into my life. I’m still very much needing to work on this and honestly it has slacked lately. The book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry convicted & helped me tremendously in the area of rest & incorporating a Sabbath. We need it, & it’s critical to incorporate in order to remind us (me) that we (I) are (am) not actually the one in charge. We (I) are (am) not actually limitless, as we’d (I’d) like to fool ourselves (myself) to think. We can learn so much about theology & ethics from observing Jesus, but how often to we think about how he was so unbothered and unhurried and never inconvenienced? He was certainly busy but He was never hurried, and He always made time for silence & solitude.

8 — I’ve learned far more about spiritual disciplines as a whole and have had to do some self-reflecting on why in the world I’m not (& the Church, or maybe the American Church at least, is not) doing a lot of them regularly, yet they’re talked about in Scripture as if it’s assumed that we are doing them (Sabbathing, fasting, solitude & silence, etc. - even regular prayer slacks). In the same breath, I’ve just been thinking a lot more on how I can better “trim the fat” in my own life. In the coming year, in addition to a Sabbath, I’d love to incorporate fasting on a more regular basis in order to discipline the flesh & strengthen my keeping in step with the Spirit.

9 — I learned, on an even deeper level, my love for theology. I took a couple seminary classes over the summer when my normal traveling work plans were cancelled. It sparked a desire to potentially pursue seminary in the future — something I knew was an option before but didn’t have as much of a desire to be proactive about it. But now, as I’ve honed in even further on my love for teaching God’s Word, I want to know what I’m talking about. So we’ll see! A highly recommended book from the classes I took is Delighting in the Trinity. Plz check it out. We so often can dismiss learning about the Trinity because it’s too difficult or can’t be understood. Maybe not fully, but we know the Trinity. The Gospel doesn’t work without a Triune God. Highly recommend. That is all.

10 — This year has allowed me to be in a full blown introvert mode — for obvious reasons: a mandated quarantine while living by yourself certainly allows for a lot of alone time. Don’t be mistaken, I do love that. I like being by myself and consider myself to be very independent. Then around April, stuff started coming out about how this quarantine season is particularly hard on people who live by themselves, and I realized I hadn’t had a hug from someone in weeks. I suddenly realized the reality of oh, yeah, this is kind of challenging. There’s literally no one else around, and other people get to have their people with them. It made me more thankful for my little circle of people & the creative ways we could still finagle situations to spend time together. I’ve learned so much more about the value of human connection, the truth that we need each other, and what a gift it is to have a God whose presence and “with-ness” is an ultimate comfort. He Himself is “God with us,” which was true through the person of Jesus, but He also gives us the gift of His ever-present Spirit, & I’m all the more thankful for that this year, too. (I wrote more about this here.)

11 — I learned (am learning) what it looks like to truly be genuinely cherished in a dating relationship. (this is actually the first public online space in which I’m talking about this. heyyooo, surprise — heard it here first). One that is loving, fun, graciously challenging, and healthy. After having experienced a ~situation~ that was emotionally and psychologically harmful, it’s a true breath of fresh air to experience & participate in something that is night and day different. I’ve always known that healthy relationships are possible and have had many great examples of that from the people around me, yet for me it was something associated with a time that impacted me in a deeply negative way. So why would I want that for myself? But I get it now. I understand that this is what people are talking about. Truly one of the most unexpected and kind gifts from the Father this year. Clearly something I’ve been secretly treasuring. Until right now, LOL.

12 — This is the year. This is the year that I’ve developed more of an ~adult~ sleeping schedule. I was looking back at my first journal entry after my birthday last year and homegirl wrote it at 1:15AM — who is she?! I dunno if it’s been being inside for most of 2020 or if I’m actually a real adult now, but around 9 I’m about ready to turn in. I’ve become what I never thought I’d be. I don’t think the true night owl in me has been snuffed out altogether, but things have certainly changed in the earlier sleep schedule department.

13 — I learned to simplify life a little more. My schedule is far more sustainable this year because of changes I was about to embrace this time last year. I moved, started working at one school instead of two, and I worked less evenings. My current self is thankful for that.

14 — I’ve become far more fired up about the problem of cultural Christianity. The kind that has become synonymous with being American. The kind that involves those who know all the Christian song lyrics or put a Scripture reference in their instagram bio but don’t actually know Scripture or its context. The kind that is drenched with false teaching and false gospels. The kind that is harming those who claim to be believers and they don’t even know it. The kind that isn’t actually legitimate Christianity at all. Should I go on? One of the things that has further stoked this fire beneath me is the documentary American Gospel. Theology matters. Doctrine matters. There are false gospels and there is the one true Gospel, and there are people all around us and in our churches who don’t know the difference. I pray for both revival and awakening in this area.

15 — I’ve noticed some unhealthy aspects of my prayer life that are in need of change. I’ll probably talk separately on this because I think it’s worth expanding upon, but I’ve realized that I lack both in praying boldly and praying persistently. Yet Scripture does actually implore me to do both. I have God’s attention as I pray, and I can always turn or return to Him in any situation. This is definitely something I want to see corrected in my heart, by the Spirit’s help, and I’ll plan on writing a separate post about it!

16 — I meditated more on Christ as our intercessor and advocate. This was largely in part due to Gentle & Lowly as well. We don’t talk nearly enough about what Jesus is doing right now. Sure, He ascended to heaven and we’re waiting for His return, but what is He doing in the meantime? I love that the Bible tells us. (Hebrews 7:25; 1 John 2:1)

17 — I’ve thought more about God’s faithfulness & my own faithfulness as well. This whole post has a theme of His faithfulness, but I’ve honed in on this attribute of His in some specific ways this year. I had even done a word study on faithful/faithfulness & discovered some really cool things. I love that He is faithful even when we are not. And in my own life & what He’s called me to, I want to be found faithful. During a virtual conference earlier this year, I heard someone mention being faithful over fruitful. Of course we all want to be fruitful in the things we’re meant to do, but I do think it’s more crucial to be found faithful instead of desiring to show the fruit of big things or events. The fruit isn’t mine to grow anyway, whether in the things I’m doing or in my own heart. He grows the fruit (the fruit of the Spirit); my only job is to abide in Him & be faithful to do that. To resolve “one thing,” as Elisabeth Elliot says, and as Scripture talks about often (Psalm 27:4, Mark 10:21, Luke 10:41-42, etc.) In doing this in my life and ministry, I’ll also be able to pass the baton well.

18 — I’ve learned more and more that there’s a beautiful solidarity in the shambly. This year has been a shambly mess, and I’ve had a lot of my own shambly moments, especially lately it seems, as I’ve been trying to figure out & discern some shifts the Lord might be making. But though I’ve felt like a wreck, that seems to be encouraging in the lives of others. There’s so much solidarity and comfort in the conversations that involve “hey, I don’t know the answers either, but let’s fix our gaze on the One who knows all & be faithful to the things that we do know He wants for us from His Word.” Not everything has a pretty bow. Being honest about where I’m at has shockingly provided comfort and encouragement for others, and I think that’s a good thing.

19 — I’m learning to remember that I’m not stuck. That could mean a number of different things (my job, plans, etc.). I’ve realized that it’s okay to want to switch things up. I have the freedom to try new things, as scary as it is sometimes & despite thoughts of but I shouldn’t or I can’t or there’s no way I’d be “allowed”, whatever that means. I’m becoming more bold to actually pursue different ideas & taking opportunities to cast out different lines to see what bites. I’m learning that that’s okay to do. I have freedom to try things just to try them.

20 — In the spirit of not being stuck and breaking out of my own status quo, I did try new things this year. I took chances and submitted my writings to a Christian publication & even decided to apply to a freelance writer position for a big ministry that I love. Nothing came from those, but I want to hold on to those things as proof that I’m capable of taking those chances. I have some other ideas swirling around in my head that I’m continuing to explore!

21 — On that note, I learned that I think I need to believe in myself a little more. See, even saying I think I need to points out my hesitancy to sort of.. give myself more credit. I find myself wanting to try new things or seeking out new tracks to run on, but then when those things come up, I’ll sell myself short and find a reason to not go for it. That’s not good, girl. I want to be more bold in this area. Take some leaps. I’ve found a bit of a niche in a few different areas over the last few years, and I wonder how I might hone in on those and be more serious/proactive about exploring how the Lord would want me to best steward those things!

22 — I learned that my lil go-with-the-flow self might be a little more tense than I had originally thought. By the way, two years ago I mentioned that I was diagnosed with TMJ. This year I finally made moves to actually relieve myself of some of that discomfort. Cool cool. It only took it being brought to my attention that my scalp basically doesn’t move & my neck muscles also struggle due to the fact that I clench my teeth so much. Crazy. News to me. So uh, I have a mouth guard now (which I also have yet to pick up from the dentist - gotta do that). This is 28.

23 — I’ve learned so much about God being ever-available and ever-present, His mercy, His grace, and His patience. I’ve truly grown in intimacy with Him. So much of what He/Jesus has for us is a kind invitation. We’re invited to come to Him (Matt. 11:28-30), cast our cares (1 Peter 5:7), boldly approach God because of what Christ has done & ask for mercy, grace, and help in our time of need (Hebrews 4:14-16). When is my time of need? Always. So when is mercy & grace available? Always. Morning by morning (Lam. 3:22-24). He invites us to abide in Him (John 15) and make our requests known to Him, knowing that He will guard us with His peace (Phil. 4:6-7) — a kind of peace that only He can give and that will never pass away (John 14:27). I’ve learned so much more about His intricate care. I think that happens year after year (so maybe I’m cheating by continuing to mention it, but it’s still true.) And in a year filled so much ugliness, I was reminded over and over of God’s patience. I would’ve given up on day 0 & said “forget you guys” to a creation that rebelled against me. Which makes me so thankful that 1. I am not God, and 2. that God had a plan from eternity past, through the Person and work of Jesus, to make it possible for Him to dwell with His people once again. What a gift it is to be able to dwell with Him.

24 — This isn’t new (again, maybe I’m cheating) but I learned to press further into my love for God’s Word. As I look back throughout my journal, there are many reminders of Psalm 119, which is all about God’s Word. I not only want to learn more about God’s Word & how to teach it to others, but I want to “long for the pure spiritual milk” of the Word (1 Peter 2:2). This does go along with the point of “trimming the fat” like I mentioned in #8. How might I do that in relation to God’s Word? What needs to be eliminated from my life so that I only thirst for His words & no one else’s? So yes, while this is an ongoing thing, I’d say I learn a different element of this topic each year.

25 — I’ve learned that apparently I think things should be harder than they need to be? Allow me to explain. When I decide I’m gonna do something (exercise, cut out sugar, take on a new project, etc.), my default is to go to the extreme (I did actually mention this last year - #10 - I’m all or nothing). Even typing this a year later shows me that this is clearly a cycle. But! I did recently discover that when implementing new changes, they’re actually doable and even enjoyable if I do them in increments. Shocking. (Yes, Jocelyn, the rest of society already knows this.) There’s part of me that for some reason thinks it’s too easy - I gotta make it miserable for myself or it’s not good enough/doesn’t count. Can someone tell me what’s up with that? The biggest thing that's recently caused me to realize this is that I’ve started running. I know. I’m struggling to believe it too. But I’ve been using the Couch to 5K app and am finding that I can like.. actually do it. The whole point is to do a little at a time in order to build up to something greater. I know that’s how goals work and everything, but like, I guess that just hasn’t been one of my strengths. I’d like to grow in this area & more regularly apply it to other things.

26 — In a year of very heightened tensions in many areas (I don’t need to recap), I’ve learned (read: been very aware of but this year has confirmed more and more) my absolute hatred for conflict. Any sort of conflict — outer, inner — I want to avoid it at all costs. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to bury myself in a hole this year. Yet I’ve also learned to press into some of that - to speak up, to have that hard conversation, or to do some good looking at the inner workings of my own conflicted heart. It’s good to uncover those things even though they can be ugly and hard. It’s great ground for growth, and thankfully we have a God who can help us navigate things with truth and grace. And also this year is just hard. We’re all collectively experiencing it. It’s okay to not be over it. Don’t put pressure on yourself to just bounce back.

27 — I’ve sensed for over a year now a need for some sort of shift. Maybe not a need for it, but that concept of an upcoming shift (as if this year hasn’t already been that) has been steadily in my mind. As if I need to prepare myself for one. I’m figuring out what to do with the what’s next?, what that actually means, and why in the world it’s been in my mind so much. So I’ve been learning to simply be in the waiting — as much as I don’t really like it. To quote Ben Rector, “Life is not the mountain tops, it’s the walking in between..” — To make things a little deeper and more spiritual, I really don’t think God is as concerned about getting me to a certain place as He is about the state of my heart along the way & what He plans to do in my life in the process. He loves a process. He’s the One to cause the growth of new fruit in my life, and from what I know about Him, He’s not looking for the store-bought fruit. He loves the tending, the caretaking, the pruning, and getting in the dirt of a situation, all while teaching His own about Himself. So I’m learning that it’s okay to just sit in that.

28 — In the midst of waiting, it can sort of feel like I’m suspended in some sort of abyss, or just free falling as I try to figure out what’s next. But I’m learning to be watchful instead. It’s mentioned a number of times in Scripture & is associated with waiting:
“O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice;
in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.”
- Psalm 5:3
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning
more than watchmen for the morning.”
- Psalm 103:5-6
This definitely is meshed with what I’ve been learning about prayer. I want to wait with patience, but instead of so easily just waiting for time to pass to “get on with it,” I want to be watchful in the meantime. Boldly watchful, asking the Lord to show me what He wants for me in those “in the meantime” moments.

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answered prayers — things i wrote down last year that i would want to be true of me and my life over the course of the coming year:

⌓ Okay. This is a little crazy. I actually don’t really look at what I wrote down the previous year (usually on or in the few days following my birthday) until it comes time to write this post. I hadn’t written much last year, but here’s what they were:
“ — newness in many regards
— discipline in routine + spiritual practices
— that I would learn more about weeping w/ weepers + rejoicing with rejoicers
— not sure why but it was placed on my heart the other night.”

Wow. Like I said, I don’t look at these throughout the year or come back to them to “see how I’m doing on my goals” or anything like that. Yet it’s always so cool to see how specifically the Lord answers. In a year where so many have faced so many incredible hardships, both individually and in our culture/world as a whole, and it also being a year where good things do still happen, there has been a plethora of opportunities to live out & hold the tension of both at the same time. Knowing when to weep and when to rejoice.

⌓ My first journal entry on my birthday last year talked about how I wanted to know the Word & the Word Himself more. I wanted to cut more of the noise. I wanted to be a lover of God instead of primarily being a worker for Him. I wanted to get away with Him more. This year certainly allowed for more opportunities for silence and solitude, but I’d still like to more proactively pursue those things. Regardless, I have grown in my knowledge of Scripture, and it’s interesting to see that I wrote about this, having no idea just how much the importance of spiritual disciplines would pop up this year, and how I’m hoping to carry even more of that with me into this new year of life.

some fave methods for being in God's Word -

recently i wrote this post on how the methods of being in God’s Word aren’t as critical as the principle of being in God’s Word. methods are still helpful, though, and i’m often asked about specific resources or devotionals. i do include one of my favorite devotionals here, but these methods are specific ways to study Scripture itself.

*note: check out this article from Jen Wilkin:
“Your Devotional is Not a Bible”

some of my favorite methods —

(not exhaustive — i could likely add more in the future, but these are current, simple go-tos)

in general —

observation, interpretation, application — i was going to list this as a method for in-depth study, but i think it’s important for any sort of time spent in Scripture. the Bible isn’t a book about me. it’s a book about God. what is His purpose for any given part?

these questions are helpful regardless of what you’re studying (& in this specific order!)
observation — what does the text say? what’s the context? do i comprehend it?
interpretation — what does the text mean? what did the author intend to get across?
application — in light of the two previous things, how should it change me?

(i can definitely write more about this or give an example of my own if you’d like!)

for in-depth study (also known as inductive) —

blue letter Bible — when i’m reading a specific passage or book and want to dig in a little deeper, blue letter Bible is my main tool to use when looking at original greek or hebrew words. you can search for specific verses to expand upon, and it’s also really great for word studies. we may see the same english word appear in multiple places, but that one word could actually be various words in the original language. i actually have an example of this in this blog post.

ESV journaling Bible — this is the exact Bible i use (though I have the double column one). it’s been really special to take notes as i read passages throughout the years. if something is particularly impactful, i’ll even mark the date next to the passage. it’s been such a tangible way to mark & keep track of God’s work in my life as i invest time in His Word!

at His feet studies — written by hope blanton & christine gordon, these studies are designed to be “approachable Bible studies for women in any season”. & they are! there’s only a couple pages of commentary in each study, allowing you to use Scripture as your main content. each study also equips you with general observation questions first — so that you can do your own work to dig into the text — only then to give you application/reflection questions.

some specific studies i’ve used that focus mainly on the text of Scripture:
jen wilkin studies — i’ve done hebrews & plan to do sermon on the mount.
i’m currently working through a jude study by jackie hill perry.

(these are really helpful because they’re not a Christian
author’s content with some Scripture on the side.
your main study is God’s Word itself, with some helpful
questions to assist you. basically if you seek out inductive
studies, that’s the good stuff. they follow the pattern
of observation/interpretation/application.)

for incorporating both prayer and scripture —

sara hagerty’s adoration printables — i use these both for praying out loud and also journaling. i’m so thankful that it directs my heart toward adoration first. we can so often go straight to supplication (making requests to God) or even thanking him for what He’s done, both of which are good and Biblical. but this points me to Scripture and allows me to spend time adoring God simply for who He is.

praying through the psalms — i don’t have a specific resource for this, but simply use a certain psalm to guide your prayers. oftentimes this is so helpful because it prompts you to think of things that might not have already been on your mind. simply read a verse or two at a time, and pray in response. when you run out of things to say, look down and read the next couple verses. it cultivates a conversation with the inspired Word of God. if prayer is meant to be a conversation with God, and conversations require both talking & listening, this helps with that.
(i can also give an example of this in the future if that would be helpful)

other supplementary resources —

*listed as supplementary because these are things to help aid in your study of God’s Word. they aren’t meant to be primarily relied upon. don’t receive God’s Word secondhand. these aren’t meant to be used instead of Scripture but are helpful resources to assist you in your study of Scripture.

ESV study Bible — i do have a physical copy of this, but i mostly use the online study Bible version that comes when you register for an account on esv.org. it’s really helpful to pull it up on my computer as i’m wrestling with a certain passage or want to know more. before looking at commentaries though, do the work yourself. commentaries are another useful secondary tool to pair with your own studying, but remember, commentary notes aren’t Scripture itself — it’s people’s comments on Scripture. it’s a good practice to even look at multiple commentaries to see if commentators generally say the same things or not, and if those things are in line with your own conclusions or if they vary. study Bibles are definitely great for digging deeper!

the Bible project — whenever i begin to study/read a new book of the Bible, i love to make use of the Bible project’s videos to give me an overview of what i’m about to read. they have animated videos for each book of the Bible that help to set up the context, videos about themes that run throughout Scripture, and various series. one of the latest is all about how to read the Bible!

new morning mercies — this is a really good devotional from paul david tripp. he is a trustworthy source, and while he gives his own words for each of these daily devos, even those are saturated with Scripture. there’s also a passage listed at the end of each day that you can make use of for further study. i can’t stress enough that when it comes to devotionals, let them be secondary. another human’s words cannot bring the kind of life that God offers from His Word.

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i have yet to even touch on my favorite Christian books! mainly because i wanted to start with the most important thing: being primarily in God’s Word itself, not going to other people for their own insights or opinions about God’s Word — even though they may very well be trustworthy sources! receive God’s Word firsthand, people!

don’t be mistaken though, i have a plethora of favorite faith-based books that have helped me tremendously in my walk with the Lord. let me know if you’d like me to make a list of those!

if you struggle to read your Bible:

 

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what even is a “quiet time” anyway?

i totally get it. reading & studying the Bible can be quite challenging. where to start? how do i even know what’s going on? what should i be looking for? am i doing it right?

all valid questions. though i don’t aim (or think i’ll be able) to ease all of your questions surrounding your reading and studying of God’s Word, i do want to start with a bit of an encouragement in your endeavor.

honestly though, if you’d want me to speak to more specific questions or challenges you face, please let me know in the comments below or in a quick DM on instagram! this is one of my favorite things to talk about, and i’d love to help you as best i can. but let’s start simple.

so often we can get discouraged by thinking that our “quiet time” has to look a certain way:
— time spent reading must at least 30 mins each day
— journaling must be involved
— gotta follow up with another 30 mins of prayer
etc. insert your variation here.

the Christian lingo of “quiet time” isn’t even in the Bible, and there aren’t strict rules of what your time in the Word has to look like. but the Bible does speak a lot about your time in the Word being important, using words like devote, meditate, commit, delight, and remember (acts 2:42; colossians 3:16; psalm 1:2, 63:6, 77:11, 119:11,15; 1 timothy 4:6-16 — honestly, just spend some time in psalm 119 and take note of how serious the psalmist is about this!)

             let this simple phrase free you up: Principle over Method

there are various beneficial methods for spending time in Scripture, and yours might (read: will likely) look different than someone else’s:
— morning, evening, or midday
— reading for 10 vs. 30 vs. 60 minutes
— taking time to memorize/meditate on a single verse vs. extensive study
— using a passage to simply guide some prayer time or journaling
etc.

none of these methods are the best or most correct way to go about your time in the Bible. none of them is the specific ticket to be sure that you’re at the top of your holy game. don’t stress as much about the method.

the principle, though? get in the Word. just be in the Word. daily. like, the actual Bible, not just receiving it secondhand by someone else (preacher, devotional, podcast, etc.)

what does that look like for you? in the morning, before heading off to class/work & facing all the noise of the day? in the evening, to calm your mind from the day’s stresses? do you have a couple hours to really dig into a passage, or just a handful of minutes that you can invest in memorizing/meditating on one specific verse in order to plant that truth in your heart/mind? this can and does change from day to day.

whatever time looks like spent in God’s Word today, do that.

God, by the power of His Holy Spirit, will do the work within you. ask Him to help. just be a lover of God & a lover of His Word. Saturate your mind & heart with its truth.

a quick note on methods:

i’ve heard some people say “there’s no wrong way to study the Bible”.

i would very much disagree. there are many ways to wrongly read the Bible (making it more about me getting a good feeling than knowing God, taking things out of context, avoiding the parts that convict me, shall I go on?!) so that’s not what i’m saying here. :)

do i also think it’s good to only ever spent short amounts of time just meditating on a verse or two? no. switch it up! dig in! devoting yourself to and meditating on God’s Word doesn’t look like only taking snack-size pieces. but don’t beat yourself up if the specific method has to look different based on your current circumstance or season of life. principle over method.

if you’re like okay i get it, totally with you & in agreement on this idea, but you still find it tricky to nail down any sort of specific method for your approach to Scripture, in the next week or so i can post some of my personal favorites that are helpful for me!

 

deciding to show up.

thursday, september 17, 2020

 

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hey it’s me. i’m the only one in this space and yet i feel like i’m a stranger to it. i guess that’s what happens when you only show up to a place maybe twice a year. oops.

i’ve had this itch to get back into something creative — something that’s just mine, having nothing to do with what i do as my job. i love being creative in my job too, but those things are for other purposes. i just want a space to like.. hang out, you know? & this isn’t new. as i was looking back over the things i’ve written here, i looked back at this post i wrote over two years ago where i talk about the same “itch i’m trying to scratch,” along with 5 ways to spark creativity. hey jocelyn, how about you actually do something about that?

one of my favorite things to do is to set up a space so it’s cozy and welcoming, and i’ve noticed that also goes for my digital spaces. the other week a friend took a look at my soft neutral color-coded google calendar & said that a wave of peace washed over her just by looking at it. you may think that’s kind of odd, and you’d be right, but wow it really made my heart soar. anyway.

i decided just yesterday that enough was enough. i ventured over here and decided to clear the cobwebs and spruce up the place. the atmosphere — or ~aesthetic~, if you will — of a place is most definitely one of my biggest values. so if i’m about to reside here again, I want it to be a space that I actually want to be. & that others want to be, too, if you’d like to come chill.

speaking of showing up, i gotta give a shoutout. i’ve been talking to my friend meg walker about this very itch i’ve had. i reached out to her specifically because girl has been killinnngggg itttt in her own online space and is about to *launch a podcast* in just a couple weeks! the groove she’s been in with her own writing & the obvious joy she’s finding from it has been inspirational to me. she said that these latest pursuits have been “the next step in faithfulness and obedience to the Lord.” a good first step in walking in obedience is showing up.

now am i trying to make it seem like reviving my corner of the internet over here is some sort of huge life calling? no. honestly, it’s just something i love. i have no idea how the Lord will ultimately use it. but i can no longer deny the multiple promptings that have come to my heart in the last number of months. friends have prayed for this area of my life, in terms of getting back to writing. a couple months ago a woman “randomly” found my blog post from a google search about what she had been reading in Scripture, & the two just so happened to line up. she said she was bummed that there weren’t any recent posts. and just last week i received an email from someone who asked if I was still blogging. okay i get it.

again, not tooting my own horn or trying to over-spiritualize things, here. but with each of those things, paired with my own itch to get back into it but having no idea where to start, i’ve decided that i’m just gonna.. show up. seems like the next right thing.

even this post itself has been stream of consciousness. because seriously. i’m not sure where to start. but here i am.

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i’m happy to have you here. :) for, you know, whatever this is. feel free to make yourself at home.

much like real life, the intention to have a cozy space wouldn’t make sense if no good conversations could happen there, so i’ve decided to throw in a lil comment section so we can chat — [make sure you leave your name!].

come on in, & just know that i’d make you a cup of coffee if i could.