originally published on 04.11.2016
Support raising is an interesting thing.
I'm now in my 38th week of raising my initial support to be on full-time staff with Cru. 38 weeks. That blows me away. A woman grows a child in her womb in that amount of time!
Although this isn't my first rodeo [in fact, my first blog post on this site was written when I was in the midst of raising support for my intern year] this time around, it's been a much longer process. It's unlike any other job in the sense that there isn't always a direct correlation between the time & effort you put in, and what you see as a result.
There's a lot of waiting. A lot of unknowns. A lot of vulnerability and dependence. [And sometimes there are even a lot of tears.]
And yet, I wouldn't change a thing.
I've had people look at me with dumbfounded expressions whenever I say that. Even though it's not easy [and extremely terrifying at times], I've been able to see the Lord work in my life in such unique ways on a daily basis that many others don't get to experience. I've seen Him guide my steps and bring people into my life whom I wouldn't have even met otherwise. It's a process that allows me to tangibly see the "good works, which God prepared beforehand, that [I] should walk in them" [Eph. 2:10].
A good friend of mine had some thoughts on this too as we were texting about it the other day:
"..other than my salvation experience, it was when I experienced the presence and working of God the most.." I couldn't agree more.
[Desiring God also posted this article the other day about raising support. It's a good read.]
When you're raising support, it's easy to see the end goal as being so far away. If I'm honest, that's how I've felt for a majority of these 38 weeks. But I knew there would come a time where the reality of "oh my gosh I'm moving to a new state and this is all happening so fast and how in the world is this going to happen in time" would set in.
Well, people. That time is here.
It all started a couple months ago when my future teammate and dear friend, Maggie, said she would need a roommate by August. Great! Ever since we met and became close, we hoped it would work out that we'd be able to live together once I joined the team. Total answer to prayer.
Fast forward a bit more to last month or so when she texts me and asks what I think about the possibility of having to sign a lease in June.
Cue the heightened heart rate.
That's a little sooner than I thought. I'm only a little over halfway done with my support at this point, and there's no way I can give her a definite answer. We decide to play it by ear.
Fast forward again to April 6th - last Wednesday. Long story short: we found a place, we did a walk through together [via FaceTime], and it's literally across the street from the campus we'll both be working at. Perfect! But the landlord needs an answer. I decide in that moment to go for it.
And that cues the next big step of faith. I'm officially signing a lease [just took care of that this morning, actually] and moving forward in faith that the Lord will finish my support by then.
I assure you my heart rate is still pretty high.
Ever since making this decision, I've made it a point to daily pray a simple prayer of asking the Lord to act. I even set an alarm on my phone for 6pm every day, reminding me to pray. The 6 representing the 6th month. June. The month I've officially set as my deadline.
I've reached the point of "Lord, I have no idea how this is going to happen." I've been in this place before. These feelings of slight panic and worry are familiar. But! The last time I felt these feelings during my last round of raising support, I saw the Lord come through. I saw Him act. I saw His provision for me. And I'm trusting that He'll do it again.
After I had made it a point to pray this prayer on a daily basis, I was flipping through Psalms and came across the comforting words of Psalm 37:5:
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act."
Okay Lord. I hear you.
These are some of my favorite moments. The moments where you come across a Scripture and it's more than just an encouraging thought that happens to be relevant to your current situation. This was a moment where it was like the Holy Spirit was directly speaking to me through His Word in response to my prayers. He not only hears but He responds. His faithfulness is part of His character. It's who He is.
Since praying daily and clinging to this Scripture, I've already seen Him move. He is continuing to cause people to catch vision for this ministry, and I'm quickly seeing that He will remain faithful in getting me to campus so I can walk in His purposes for me.
I'd love for this entry to serve two purposes:
(1) I want you to be encouraged. Whether it's raising financial support or something else going on in your life, He's faithful and He hears your prayers. He knows your fears, and He makes Himself available to us to show us His power in the midst of our scary circumstances. What situation to you need to wholly trust Him with?
(2) I want to invite you in on this prayer process. Would you pray along with me that my support would be finished by June?
I'm certain that this process will result in another opportunity for me to sing His grace.